I had my appointment with the surgeon on Thursday at 3:30pm, I sat in the waiting room discussing dogs and family with a very nice lady. My support, my guy sat along with me. We are both pretty concerned with where things are going anticipating this appointment that maybe we will find out more.
I can't forget that it's not just me going through this, he is going through it with me as we are each a part of each other and I can only imagine how he feels right now because if it was him that was awaiting such news I would be an absolute basket case.
I get called back in the office, my biggest fan (my guy) goes back with me, we don't wait in the room too long and the doctor comes in ask me a bunch of questions like when I noticed the lump, and had I had any injury to my breast ever, and I proceeded to show him that I am not just concerned about the breast but that I have this one lymph node/glad that seems to bother me often... he doesn't seem concerned about this, so in my mind now I just think that is nothing.
He proceeds to do my breast exam and says that he is going to do a ultrasound guided core biopsy of my this area of concern. I said can you tell me anything else at this point? He said no, nothing but that there is a suspicious area. So, I waited longer to find out nothing more entirely.
Go with his Nurse or assistant and she schedules me for the biopsy. They get me in Friday morning at 8am... yep the very next day. Pretty fast huh?
I go ahead and ask her if she could give me a copy of the report from the mammogram and ultrasound. She very nicely says yes, and prints me a copy from the computer (couldn't give me the copy that the doctors have written).
The report does not ease my concerns one bit, it actually confirms more fear. I can handle the fear as I would still rather know what the doctors know and not just that its suspicious, I want to know what makes it suspicious. At this point it really still could be anything and I understand that cancer is not diagnosed until after the biopsy results. But, the report is blunt with knowledge that is pressing everything to happen.
They basically see two lobulated ovoid lesions in the upper outer right breast on the mammogram which again show up on the ultrasound, both lesions demonstrate blood flow. They are both solid. The breast tissue is dense. These mass/lesions could represent enlarged lymph nodes, but these cannot be confirmed as benign lymph nodes. The mammo also shows enlarged lymph node in my left breast which is benign-appearing. The report has one statement that haunts me a bit "The findings are somewhat suspicious of malignancy".... and that is why I keep hearing the words suspicious from all the physicians.
So, I am a bit freaked at this point, thankful they are moving fast with the appointments because honestly the wait is like much worse than anyone who has never done this before could imagine. I HATE THIS WAITING!
I went in this morning loaded with 1 valium for the procedure. It was over in just a few a minutes... everyone was super kind to me and as always my biggest fan was there waiting and worrying about me. I have slept most of the day, not too much pain. One thing they don't tell you about those core biopsies is there have this like vacuum type machine that somehow makes a drilling sound like the the dentist filling a cavity would, and its a bit freaky.
Now that this is done, I wait for results. They have scheduled an appointment for Tuesday at 3:30 so now I just have to wait through the weekend and a busy payroll Monday and I will know my the results of my immediate future.
Still could just be fibroids, or lymph nodes... but at this point in time I am expecting the worst, so when I hear its not what I suspect it is, it will simply be a time of celebration. If hear the C word, then I can expect it, be prepared for it and not totally flip out.
So here I am again waiting it out!!!
Tomorrow will be busy as I am doing a 5K (probably walking, doctor said to take it easy)... and then will have to work for several hours as I am not working today and I mentioned earlier payroll is Monday, I am responsible for everyone in my office getting their check on time.... so... I do that tomorrow.
Sunday may hold a long run and house cleaning.
Monday more finalizing payroll and catch up at work.... Tuesday work and then results.
Any other week these days would fly by so fast, but lately each passing day takes forever.