Monday, October 14, 2013

A letter to my Daughter

Dear Beautiful Girl,

I love you so very much.  I hope you are doing well. I miss you terribly.  I try to call or text but the last attempt you told me I worry to much and you were fine, so I am trying really hard to give you space and not crowd you.

Your decisions the last few months have not been my choice for you. I chose for you to go to college and for you to have a life better than that I gave to you.  Mostly in life I want you to be happy though. I could tell you this if you gave me the opportunity to discuss it.  I am disappointed yes, only because I fear for you as I know how hard life is, I know how cruel it can be and it frightens me to know you are making decisions now that effect you so greatly, but it's your life. You have to live it.  I wish you wouldn't have pushed me away to do what you wanted. I wish you would have just talked with me. I feel we have lost so much of our relationship and it's just awkward and hard to figure out where to go from here, especially when we don't talk.

I am sorry you feel I deserve this sort of torture, you probably don't know what your doing to me... you are so young. I am trying to be, and will continue to be supportive of your decisions as they are your decisions. I don't agree, but its not my life and I understand that.  I love you no matter what and always will. You are smart and I am sure you will figure things out.

You still have a few more things to take care of on my end, some things that make you responsible for you and since you have moved out over 3 months ago, its time you handle those responsibilities... it is part of being a grown up.  I hope I don't have to be the bad guy AGAIN and hope you do the mature thing here, we don't have much time.  I wish you the best with this cruel life, and I am here whenever you want to have your mom again, I will wait patiently here for you to come back as an adult and share experiences with me. I sure hope you do. I miss you terribly.

Love always,
Your Mom

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