Sunday, February 24, 2013

The Trail

I took these photos on a nice 5 mile run I got in... I am blessed to have a beautiful place to run.

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Hormones vs Spoiled

Well my son came back from his dads, all was well until another blow up this morning.  This is so frustrating!!!!  He seems so spoiled, and disrespectful, it doesn't even seem like he is the same kid.

He has pretty much said some very hurtful comments to me today that I have been dwelling on a bit more then I usually let things get to me.  I didn't make 36 years happy and healthy by dwelling on things. I am not a dweller. I see if there is something I can do to make things better, I see if there is something I should do to make me a better person, I see if there is something I can do help the situation in anyway and if not, then I say this too shall pass and I move on waiting for it to pass, I don't dwell.  But, today I have been dwelling. He said "You don't do anything for and never really have".  He said "You don't do anything to show me you love me".  Those two comments are KILLING ME!!!!

He wants expensive clothes, electronics and such that I just can't afford to spend money on, he feels that because I might go spend money on this and that, why I can't I spend it on him.  He doesn't consider all the money I spend on the family in general, and on him for the essentials as valuable expenses, those are ones I OWE HIM and I HAVE TO DO TO. I have never received consistent child support and honestly do the very best I can by my kids. I have two, not one. I have one that is graduating in a few months.  I try to be fair on spending for both kids, but if one has a prom and the other doesn't then no I don't go buy the one that doesn't have a prom dress something of equal value because that one will eventually have a prom too... I would NEVER be able to spend the same on both kids at the same time. I provide for them the best I can. Thing like Christmas and Birthdays are always equal, but no I don't spoil them with finer things. They don't have smart phones... but they should have regular phones, he lost his phone and she dropped hers in water so right now neither of them have a phone... both of which are not my problems and I am saying they have to  EARN their phones back or buy one themselves at this point.  My daughter just purchased her a new one with her paycheck, and my son will get one as soon as he starts acting right, that's all he has to do is bring his grades up, not disrespect me, do his chores... that's it.  I think its fair, he thinks I am ridiculous.  I don't care if is Polo Ralph Lauren or Polo Assign... I honestly don't care about brand names, maybe its the way I was raised, but I DON'T CARE!!!!  He is obsessed with the higher end stuff, and wants nothing but that when it comes to clothes, so no I don't buy him clothes anymore. He uses his birthday/christmas/earned money to buy them because I have been hoping he would see how ridiculously expensive it is and by spending his own money realize that its just a label, but he hasn't.  I have bought him some clothes/shoes and such don't get me wrong but I rarely ever buy the expensive brands, because it's ridiculous. I can see having a few top dollar outfits but not refusing to wear anything other than those type things.  It's just horrible the way he is, and he feels he is owed the finer things in life for some reason. I am a single mother who had my first child at 19 and barely have  college degree who makes chump change and doesn't even get child support on regular basis ($80 a month if I am lucky), but he thinks he should have the finer things in life.  Says thinks like "people in the getto have more expensive games and clothes than I do"... and he thinks I care?

I know the ages between 12-15 for a boy can be really trying years, I remember my brother going through those years (I could tell you some stories, but that is a different time... and the fact that he is a medical doctor he might not like me saying some of them haha).  I really think some boys LOSE THEIR MINDS during these years. The Hormones are raging, emotions seem uncontrolled and life just seems unfair to them.

I understand this, I honestly do.

I do not know what to do.  But, I know there are a few things I can do.

One is sit down with his daddy and come up with a plan that we both can stick to, and address his anger and disrespect.  Sit down with his Dad and explain that we will not accept certain behaviors and their will be consequences given by both of us... I think one reason he talks to me like he does is he wants to just go to this dads and lives there but he knows that isn't the stable environment he needs so he pushes my buttons and tries to get the best of both worlds out of it.  His Dad and I need to work together now since we have never really had issues like this with him I think we need to deal with them now together and get the issues solved.

All I can say is right now between my temper and his is GOD HELP US!

Thursday, February 21, 2013

Elvis Lives

It's date night! I love DATE NIGHTS!
Thomas scored free tickets to go see Elvis Lives

I was never a HUGE Elvis fan, but Thomas has always been. I remember the Elvis that was portrayed to me at a young age that was from a made for TV movie that showed him as not the best guy to be around, my memory may be wrong, but its how I knew him, a strung out pop star who let him self go and died.

Thomas opened my eyes to a different man.  ELVIS was a remarkable person, very caring and giving.  Very handsome, funny, smart, and extremely talented.  My mind was closed to ELVIS because I was merely one year old when he died and I only knew what that movie I saw at some age told me about him.  I have since watched specials about Elvis, many of his "cheesy" films and some that were really pretty good, I have been to Graceland and cried like a baby there.  I really honestly love his music, the mark he made in music, and feel that more people should get to know the Elvis that I have been introduced to... because having not been around when he was, I honestly didn't have a good concept of things, until I was introduced to them.  

Back to our date night, we were rushed for dinner but still managed to have a marvelous meal at Ruby Tuesdays before the show.  I had a lobster tail and petite steak, salad, and grilled asparagus that was absolutely delicious! We made it to the show right on time.  The show consisted of 4 Elvi (is that how you make it plural? Haha) one that was his younger years who was AMAZING!!!! He had all Elvis' moves down to a T and I am telling you he was talented.  Then there were his years after he was in the military, then there were his tight leather years and then his jumpsuit years.  All Four impersonators were wonderful but the 1st and last stood out the most to me. They did a really good job with this production and if you like Elvis, and love Broadway Theatre League, you should check it out if you can.

Another awesome thing was seeing a nearly 80 year old lady hoot n holler for Elvis on stage, it MADE MY NIGHT and made my heart smile that she was out there having such a wonderful time and probably reminiscing some.

Great night was had by all! :)

Sunday, February 17, 2013


I have posted before how I wanted to learn to groom my dogs because it cost too much money to go and have them groomed.  With two high maintenance furry babies it can run me $100 or more every 6-8 weeks just for grooming not counting their flea preventatives and their food, treats, toys lol they are just like children I SWEAR!

But, I have been practicing a lot over the last few months and it hasn't been a pretty site every time, but I think I am getting much better at this grooming.

Clipping their claws still requires a bit of work, but I have most everything else down pat I think.  It still doesn't look "professional" but its not bad considering it cost me $0.00 and only about 2-3 hours of a weekday for both dogs to get groomed.

Here is my finished product this time:
This is Reuben he is my Yorkie

This is Cooper my Maltese

Here they both are with their sweaters on and with my beautiful daughter.

Not professional lol but decent.  Cooper (the Maltese) has issues with his ears, this is after some pretty serious matting happened behind his ears back when I first got him, and I literally cut his hair on his ears off, to try to fix him, but they are growing out (slowly) and I honestly haven't touched them the last three times I have groomed him trying to let them grow back out! lol Poor baby.  He can't tell a thing though, he loves having a bath and getting all of this attention! :)

Saturday, February 16, 2013


"A child who is allowed to be disrespectful to his parents will not have true respect for anyone "

Which is why I will not be disrespected in my own home.  I love my kids so much it hurts.  I love them enough to give in when I shouldn't.  I love them enough to put their events, their lives a head of my own for 17 years and counting. I love them enough to work two jobs if I had to, to feed them. I love them enough for almost everything, but not disrespect.  

I earn my respect  being their sole provider all of their life. I earn my respect but respecting them. My respect is well earned in many aspects.  

So today, when my 14 year old 6'1" tall baby boy decided it was ok to stomp through the house and do nothing but bad mouth and disrespect me and say "no" he isn't going to do what I told him to do and how "unfair" I am, I decided that was enough.  I got two notifications from school this week 1. He called someone a name that was HORRIBLE!!! 2. He forged my name on two bad grades to try to get extra credit.  In his defense the kid he called the name was a friend and it was done so mutually only he got caught saying it, so it wasn't really to offend someone but it wasn't necessarily a joking thing to say anyway and highly disapprove of him saying it in any context.  And, the grads I did know about but he told he needed me to sign the papers while I was doing the dishes and he never brought the papers to me where I could actually sign them. That was his error, not mine.  That did not allow him to forge my signature.  All of that happening and he wanted to go to his friends today. I said ok, but you clean your room, and clean up the house (which he knows what this involves for me).  He picked up his room, and cleaned the kitchen counter, that was it.  I wanted a bit more done. I was gone to take his sister to her audition for a music scholarship and came home, he was gone to his friends. He came in to "check in" a few hours later which is what I make him do so I know he is alive and well.  Then he wanted to go back to his friends. I told him I was disappointed in what he had done but that I would let him go back, but he would have to clean more tomorrow.  I wanted him home by 6 pm it was then 2 pm.  He came home at 5:30, wanting to check in, and go back. It's freezing cold and he had no jacket on (he walks a half mile to his friends house)... I mentioned earlier he needed to bundle up... I said no its late you have been gone most of the day and you didn't clean well enough either.  

HE WENT OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have a pretty bad temper myself, but keep from FIGHTING with my 14 year old son I called his Daddy and told him to come get him and that I wasn't having any child of my talk like that to me in my own house, he would respect me or he would live elsewhere.  I used this logic because many times he has threatened me that he was going to live with his daddy so this time I just said, go, get out of my house, because you will not disrespect me.

He is bad about blowing up like this and then apologizing. I explained during his outburst that apologizing was not going to work this time, HE would absolutely NOT talk to me in this maner again.  Period.  

My heart hurts over this because I have no idea what I am doing, unfortunately children do not come with manuals and I have NO IDEA what to do when they decide they are too big to listen and agree with their parents.  But, I know I will not feel intimidated by him as big as he is, so love him very much...and I feel he is better off living here with boundaries, and a stable environment with a mother who loves him unconditionally and wants him to reach for his full potential and see that the sky is the limit for him, yes I feel he is better off living with his me, his mother.  I hate that we are going through this, I love him so much it literally breaks my heart into pieces.  I do not want to go through this, but I know living with a child who has no respect for me will only make life hell, and honestly I can not do him any good. He respects his dad still, for reasons I am not sure as he is merely his best friend not much of a father, but its in his hands now. I told him I didn't want him back here if he wasn't prepared to respect me and my home.

This all sucks, it sucks so bad!!!!  I miss my sweet little baby boy. All I can do is sit and hope for the best.  UGH

Thursday, February 14, 2013


I have a wonderful Valentine's and have had my special sweet Valentine for 10 years.  He always surprises me with sweet things on this special day so show me just how much he loves me! :)

Material thing really don't matter much to me, but knowing he plans ahead, cares about me enough and even saves up the money to spoil me on my special day does mean a lot.  I will love him just as much without all the fuss he makes over me, but while I get it... I will relish in it! 

We went to Fulin's for dinner. One of my favorite places.  I pigged out too. I had a spicy chicken dish which was AMAZING (Chicken Garlic something or other) and a sushi roll (Tiger Roll).  I also devoured a bottle of wine all but about a 4 oz that Thomas might have had haha.

It really was a remarkable evening with the man I loved. We came home after shopping around a bit and watched Bridge Jones Diary on the big screen... one of my favorite movies.

I hope everyone found a bit love on this day. Happy Valentine's Day

Monday, February 11, 2013

Big Screen

Well its official, we have a movie theater in our living room!  Thomas' projector arrived today and we watched our first movie on the big screen.  Avatar was the movie we chose and it was absolutely stunning to watch a movie in this way in my own living room. I never have to go sit in an uncomfortable movie theater chair again!!! :)

Renovating.  He is literally turning the living room into a theater room, he is dropping the ceiling in places and building some cabinets to hold his speakers and things. I can't wait to see the finished product but in the meantime I will enjoy watching this big screen! :)

This picture doesn't do it justice, but I will take some photos soon once the living room isn't in shambles haha 

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Cold day

Yes by cold day I mean cold in every sense of the word.  It is freezing cold outside, and I have a cold to boot.  There is nothing better on a day like today then to curl up with a blanket, my family, my pets, and watch movies.  

We hit Redbox and picked up not one, or two but 5 movies!!!  We are serious movie watchers around here.
1) TED
2) Looper
3) The Words
4) Paranormal Activity 4
5) The Possession

And, we can't forget this stuff 

Yep could old popcorn, made by the best popcorn maker in the world, my sexy man! :)