Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Sleep

I have a very important sleep schedule,  it is that I MUST GET SLEEP!  I do not function well on little sleep.  This morning for example, I woke up at 3:45 am (had to pee) after not going to bed until right at 12am.  My clock was set to go off at 4:30 am for early clinic.  I figured while I was up why not call and see if I actually have to get up and ready at 4:30 or if I can re-set my clock to 7am (which I was hoping for).  Well, they said I had to get up at 4:30 am.  I went on back to bed, and tried to go back to sleep but couldn't because I feared the clock wouldn't go off or I wouldn't get up and I already told them I would be there so now I can't go snooze for that extra 35-45 minutes.  I get on up at 4:20 am and start getting ready and head to work, but not before I make sure I have my swimming gear (Juliana and I are swimming after work today).  On the drive in to work, I am finding my head is heavy and hard to hold up, my eyes are closing even though I am trying to hold them open, YES WHILE I WAS DRIVING!!!  I rolled the window down, blared the radio trying to wake myself up and still I my body was trying so hard to doze.  THAT IS SCARY!!!  I could have pulled over and took a nap had I not had to get work, thankfully I made it successfully to the office.  While there I was pretty good and awake from the rain that hit me on my way in, and the bright light of the office. 

I finished my morning work and stopped for breakfast (Hardee's was horrible for me but I felt I needed food.. to stay awake?  Another reason I battle my weight.)  and now I sit here at my desk.

Funny thing about this sleep is I worked at a Sleep Clinic for 5 years.  My daily job consists of setting patients up with Positive Airway Pressure for treatment of sleep apnea.  I know all about Narcolepsy, Idiopathic Hypersomnia and Obstructive Sleep Apnea.  I have never once considered testing myself yet I have moments like this morning all the time. Sometime it is my drive home, but mostly its the early drive in the morning in the dark that is the hardest for me.  I honestly don't think I have a sleep disorder.  I know when I was at my heaviest 188 lbs that I would snore more often then not because Thomas would talk about it more.  He rarely mentions snoring to me since I lost a few pounds.  I sleep like a log!!! I mean I can have stressers and emotional things that would normally keep people awake with worry, it makes me more exhausted.  I sleep more in times of stress and worry than when I am at my happiest.  Weird?  I sleep hard too.  I may get up to pee once, if that and I don't move once I fall asleep.  Sometimes I am asleep before I remember my head actually hitting the pillow.  Some would be envious of my sleep patterns, especially those who suffer from insomnia.  But, the problem is that my sleep rules my life.  I mean those with Insomnia learn to function on no sleep.  I try to stay up late a few nights to watch movies/shows with my man and hang out with him, and I literally suffer the whole next day.  I got close to 5 hours of sleep last night which is not my 7-9 hours that I try to get daily.  I know if I got that 7-9 hours I will be fine, I will be in a good mood despite what trial and emotional struggles I may be dealing with, and I will not be trying to fall asleep at the wheel and I will feel like myself.  With anything less than that 7 hours you can bet that I will be moody, irritable, my mind will be foggy, I will make more mistakes at work and I will be fighting sleep all day. I usually wind up with a headache before the end of my work day.  That is how powerful my sleep is to me.  After two days in a row of less than 7 hours of sleep my body will shut down all together... and I will simply HAVE to sleep no if's, and's, or but's about it. 

Now I am sitting here writing this post simply to stay busy and do something, because I still have 25 minutes before all the lights are up here and the store is officially opened and then I will have the phone and patients coming in that will keep me awake.  Does your sleep effect you this much? Does it dictate your life? I live with two children who have pretty good sleep habits, they go to bed and sleep for the most part and get in the morning, they don't nap and they seem to function.  Then I live with Thomas who is a chronic Insomniac, who I rarely EVER actually see sleep and I don't know how he functions. I worry about him driving and stuff but the thing is he is rarely affected by the little sleep besides his irritability he has, I feel is his lack of sleeping coming out and I usually disregard it as just that because everyone NEEDS sleep don't they?  I mean am I the only one with this desperate need for sleep?  I don't believe I truly have a sleep disorder because I function WONDERFULLY on 7-9 hours of sleep.  If I felt this way after getting a full nights sleep then I would know there is something seriously wrong with my sleep pattern and might need to have a sleep study done.  But, I feel wonderful with the right amount of sleep.  I just can't skimp on it. I have to have the exact amount every single night to feel normal and not like a zombie.
Blah! I need a nap!
(photo of my daughter for Halloween several years ago kind represents how I feel about right now!)

(warning: I can not be held accountable for this post or errors found within because I was sleep typing it)

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