A running mentor of mine did her first triathlon recently and had to be pulled out of the open water swim due to an anxiety attack. Since hearing of this I have even more fear! I mean she can out run me, she is a strong woman and she had issues during the swim. That freaks me out!
Even when I swim alone, I have issues with my breathing and feeling anxiety as if I can't get up for air quick enough. I have said repeatedly that I am not a strong swimmer and this is very true. I really need to learn how to relax in the water. I can feel it myself that I am in constant battle to stay in a floating state, and that fight leaves me exhausted after one lap of the pool. Then I catch my breath and repeat. Heaven forbid me actually be able to make the turn at the end and continue on to the other end. I swear I am that bad at this swimming thing. WHAT WAS I THINKING signing up for a triathlon that involves swimming!!!
I always thought the sport was cool, I was always envious of the people who could just jump in a pool without even holding their nose. I am serious!!! That has always amazed me! I still can't jump in without holding the nose. My fingers are forever fixed to the tip of my nose when it comes to jumping. I have learned to swim without holding my nose though, and this has been a major accomplishment. I guess I always wanted to be a better swimmer and I thought by signing up for a triathlon with plenty of time to practice, train and actually learn how to swim that I would become a swimmer. Why not sign up, right?
Today however I inhaled half of that swimming pool through my nose, I choked, gagged and spittled way too much. My nose was burning at one point you know that feeling, it is almost agony while you stare hopelessly at the sun hoping for a big ol' sneeze!
Then, after my swim I came home and tried to go on a run, my legs wouldn't work. They just would not work! I ran one mile, actually I probably physically ran half a mile and walked half a mile. They ache, they feel tired and exhausted. Could have been from the swim, could be from using muscles I don't usually use during boot camp... but whatever it is, it is scary knowing I only have a little over 3 weeks to train for this and I couldn't even push myself to run one more mile today? I am so in over my head with this!!! But, I keep going, just keep moving forward and I hope to amaze myself when it is actually time for the race.