Friday, July 27, 2012

An Athlete, I am not

We went out for a late dinner yesterday.  I had a horribly delicious mexican meal out after having a huge hamburger and fries for lunch... OMG I WAS HORRIBLE YESTERDAY!!! I also didn't exercise, no boot camp... no swimming... not anything!  As a result I got a very very sick stomach last night, and I attribute my horrible performance at boot camp this morning to my poor nutrition choices. 

This is the amazing sunset that we saw while gonig out to dinner last night.  Ignore the utility pole and traffic light please I took this while stopped at that traffic light... I just wanted to share this sunset with the world because it made me so happy to see.

Speaking of boot camp I am going to miss it!  I enjoy going there.  Monday will be my last day.  I can't afford to do it long term or I would consider it.  But, I have a good foundation for exercise, I know what I need to be doing.  I just have to make myself do it alone.  I could get up at 6 am and still get an hour workout instead of 4:30 am if I do it at home.  I don't know exactly what exercises to do what days but I have a crap ton of DVD's that I can do and I could do a program a week.  Like one week follow the Insanity (which kicks my ass so hard), and 1 week Julian's Body Revolution (which is a really good workout that kicks my ass but not as bad as insanity) then there is also Hip Hop Abs and Turbo Jam... all of which seem to target the whole body and have certain days for certain things to give me an effective workout.  Then there is the Brazillian Butt Lift which I have only done one little bitty section of this workout, but I feel it will help lower body and abs.  See I have TONS of tools.  Plus I have an 18 lb weighted bar, dumb bells, kettle bells, Step, jump rope, treadmill, bicycle, swimming gear and kayak.  Basically I have absolutely NO EXCUSE not to continue on my journey and reach my goals.  It is hard to come up with a plan and make yourself get up when it is just you.  It is amazing how I can let myself down but you let me be suppose to meet someone and I will show up, I will not let them down.  I really enjoy working out with others better but I think everyone does.  I live in Decatur and every group I join, every person I meet with the same goals lives in Madison or Huntsville.  I drive all the time for exercise which is ok, but it is hard and makes me away from the house that much longer.  I love my new exercise friends, they keep me encouraged and inspired so I really enjoy being a part of groups like this, after the boot camp I will not be in a group at all.  I wanted to sign up for the half marathon training group, but don't have the funds with putting two kids in school and all. And then there is the time to drive all the way to Huntsville to meet them.  I am sure there are running groups or people with the same interest as me that live in my area and could meet with me without paying a big entry fee.  Now, I need to get out there and find them.  I joined the River City Runners in Decatur hoping to meet people but I haven't done a single thing with them. I may try to email someone there and see if I can make local running friends. 

I need to do my measurements again this weekend so I can see if I lost anything from boot camp.  I know I didn't lose a pound but that is solely from my choice of nutrition. I EAT HORRIBLY! I was doing so good with my food when I first started at the beginning of the year, but now with more exercise I eat more or stay hungry more and I need to learn how to fuel my body better. This is part of being an athlete and why I am still not one.  I can't be an athlete who doesn't replenish electrolytes, or doesn't drink enough water, or chooses to eat bad 75% of the time.  I give myself 25% of good eating because usually my breakfast is pretty good and healthy something just goes way wrong from there. 

I enjoy seeing changes in my body, I enjoy how I feel after an accomplishment and I love the new me.  I want to be an athlete though.  I want to pour my self into it and just be amazing.  I am weak.  For instance on my run this morning at boot camp, it is maybe 1/4 of a mile so nothing major, but my lower legs (calves, shins, ankles) were all feeling so tight and on fire that I was pathetic.  Again, my nutrition yesterday was horrible, I didn't warm up great because they will start with a run as a warm up so I just did the best I could.  Then we worked out and ran that same distance again, no excuse this time my body is warm but the lower legs just HATED me.  I gave up and walked it.  This is where I am weak.  I feel I should be pushing through that discomfort to strengthen my body to do what it needs to do for me to be a runner.  This same feeling will happen to me when I go on a 3 mile run and again I will walk.  I do this because 1) I am not sure about the feeling, meaning if I continue will I injure myself and make it where I can't exercise tomorrow? Because I feel as if I must exercise so I don't want to like really myself  2) Is it a lack of nutrition that I just haven't learned what to do yet? 3) Is it just not properly training and getting those legs ready to run for me.... whatever it is I stop because I don't know should I or should not do.

I am doing a triathlon in just 22 days that I am probably not ready for, I am not sure because I have never actually done 3 sports in one event.  I can swim 400 meters (slowly, and frantically lol but I can do it), I can bike 7-8 miles and I can run/walk 3.1 miles so I can do all the events but the transitions and doing them all right after each other.... I just don't know. 

I want to be an ATHLETE.... I think I have it in me to do it.  I just need to remember this before I put food in my mouth and when I feel like just walking.  It has only been 7 months since I started any sort of regular exercise.  Lets see where I can be in another 7 months.  In 7 months I will be back around to Feburary which was when I signed up for my very first race ever.  Maybe I can sign up for it again and beat my time before.

Once, I feel like I am truly reaching my athletic ability I am getting a tattoo.  Not sure what or where but I don't have one at all, always wanted one and I feel this will be something that I will have worked for and will appreciate having something marked forever on my body as a reminder of the work I have and will be putting in on it.  I am not that athlete yet, but I will be. 

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