Monday, July 30, 2012

The end

Today was my last day of boot camp. I really enjoyed it. Can't say I made any friends because there wasn't much time for real get to know someone kind of talking.  I can say that I got a damn good work out about 3 days a week over the last 4 weeks. 

I took measurements at the beginning and will take them again tonight to just see if I have lose any inches.  I don't think I lost a pound lol but I will check that too.

I enjoyed that group workout tremendously.  Now it's time to do it alone.
Just sharing a little photo I took near Desoto Falls on a hiking trip

Date night

We went to see The Watch yesterday, it was pretty funny.  I love Richard Ayoade I first saw him in The IT Crowd which is absolutely hilarious.  He did really well in this movie with such funny men as Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn and Jonah Hill.

We came home and he made blackened fish for dinner wish was a very nice meal, that is special because I generally do not care for fish but this was absolutely delicious!  We enjoyed our meal while watching the olympics.  It was a great night!

Friday, July 27, 2012

An Athlete, I am not

We went out for a late dinner yesterday.  I had a horribly delicious mexican meal out after having a huge hamburger and fries for lunch... OMG I WAS HORRIBLE YESTERDAY!!! I also didn't exercise, no boot camp... no running...no swimming... not anything!  As a result I got a very very sick stomach last night, and I attribute my horrible performance at boot camp this morning to my poor nutrition choices. 

This is the amazing sunset that we saw while gonig out to dinner last night.  Ignore the utility pole and traffic light please I took this while stopped at that traffic light... I just wanted to share this sunset with the world because it made me so happy to see.

Speaking of boot camp I am going to miss it!  I enjoy going there.  Monday will be my last day.  I can't afford to do it long term or I would consider it.  But, I have a good foundation for exercise, I know what I need to be doing.  I just have to make myself do it alone.  I could get up at 6 am and still get an hour workout instead of 4:30 am if I do it at home.  I don't know exactly what exercises to do what days but I have a crap ton of DVD's that I can do and I could do a program a week.  Like one week follow the Insanity (which kicks my ass so hard), and 1 week Julian's Body Revolution (which is a really good workout that kicks my ass but not as bad as insanity) then there is also Hip Hop Abs and Turbo Jam... all of which seem to target the whole body and have certain days for certain things to give me an effective workout.  Then there is the Brazillian Butt Lift which I have only done one little bitty section of this workout, but I feel it will help lower body and abs.  See I have TONS of tools.  Plus I have an 18 lb weighted bar, dumb bells, kettle bells, Step, jump rope, treadmill, bicycle, swimming gear and kayak.  Basically I have absolutely NO EXCUSE not to continue on my journey and reach my goals.  It is hard to come up with a plan and make yourself get up when it is just you.  It is amazing how I can let myself down but you let me be suppose to meet someone and I will show up, I will not let them down.  I really enjoy working out with others better but I think everyone does.  I live in Decatur and every group I join, every person I meet with the same goals lives in Madison or Huntsville.  I drive all the time for exercise which is ok, but it is hard and makes me away from the house that much longer.  I love my new exercise friends, they keep me encouraged and inspired so I really enjoy being a part of groups like this, after the boot camp I will not be in a group at all.  I wanted to sign up for the half marathon training group, but don't have the funds with putting two kids in school and all. And then there is the time to drive all the way to Huntsville to meet them.  I am sure there are running groups or people with the same interest as me that live in my area and could meet with me without paying a big entry fee.  Now, I need to get out there and find them.  I joined the River City Runners in Decatur hoping to meet people but I haven't done a single thing with them. I may try to email someone there and see if I can make local running friends. 

I need to do my measurements again this weekend so I can see if I lost anything from boot camp.  I know I didn't lose a pound but that is solely from my choice of nutrition. I EAT HORRIBLY! I was doing so good with my food when I first started at the beginning of the year, but now with more exercise I eat more or stay hungry more and I need to learn how to fuel my body better. This is part of being an athlete and why I am still not one.  I can't be an athlete who doesn't replenish electrolytes, or doesn't drink enough water, or chooses to eat bad 75% of the time.  I give myself 25% of good eating because usually my breakfast is pretty good and healthy something just goes way wrong from there. 

I enjoy seeing changes in my body, I enjoy how I feel after an accomplishment and I love the new me.  I want to be an athlete though.  I want to pour my self into it and just be amazing.  I am weak.  For instance on my run this morning at boot camp, it is maybe 1/4 of a mile so nothing major, but my lower legs (calves, shins, ankles) were all feeling so tight and on fire that I was pathetic.  Again, my nutrition yesterday was horrible, I didn't warm up great because they will start with a run as a warm up so I just did the best I could.  Then we worked out and ran that same distance again, no excuse this time my body is warm but the lower legs just HATED me.  I gave up and walked it.  This is where I am weak.  I feel I should be pushing through that discomfort to strengthen my body to do what it needs to do for me to be a runner.  This same feeling will happen to me when I go on a 3 mile run and again I will walk.  I do this because 1) I am not sure about the feeling, meaning if I continue will I injure myself and make it where I can't exercise tomorrow? Because I feel as if I must exercise so I don't want to like really myself  2) Is it a lack of nutrition that I just haven't learned what to do yet? 3) Is it just not properly training and getting those legs ready to run for me.... whatever it is I stop because I don't know should I or should not do.

I am doing a triathlon in just 22 days that I am probably not ready for, I am not sure because I have never actually done 3 sports in one event.  I can swim 400 meters (slowly, and frantically lol but I can do it), I can bike 7-8 miles and I can run/walk 3.1 miles so I can do all the events but the transitions and doing them all right after each other.... I just don't know. 

I want to be an ATHLETE.... I think I have it in me to do it.  I just need to remember this before I put food in my mouth and when I feel like just walking.  It has only been 7 months since I started any sort of regular exercise.  Lets see where I can be in another 7 months.  In 7 months I will be back around to Feburary which was when I signed up for my very first race ever.  Maybe I can sign up for it again and beat my time before.

Once, I feel like I am truly reaching my athletic ability I am getting a tattoo.  Not sure what or where but I don't have one at all, always wanted one and I feel this will be something that I will have worked for and will appreciate having something marked forever on my body as a reminder of the work I have and will be putting in on it.  I am not that athlete yet, but I will be. 



Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Hatred

Stop the Hate Join the Boycott
I am just sick when I think of this, and yes I am joining in on the boycott!  I am not as religious as maybe people in my family would like me to be, I have my thoughts, beliefs and reasons to be the way that I am,  an outcast, that blue dot in a big ol' red state.

I have issues with religious people, not just Chick Fil A but all religious people, the ones that are my neighbors, co-workers, family and friends... you know those religious people who can so openly express how they reject gay marriage and a person being gay in general.  I can't see what they do in their own life has anything to do with you in your life?  

I guess I look at it that they get their thoughts on gay marriage from the bible, the one that was written by man.  The bible that states you should treat others as you would like to be treated, or better yet the one that says Love your neighbor.  Or even the one that says you shouldn't judge someone.  Yes the book that talks of love that so many people are trying to live by.  

How they can take a passage in the bible, any religion, any one person can take a passage and turn it into what they want it to be which is the reason for so many different denominations when all in all what I feel the higher power is wanting from us is to LOVE EACH OTHER!  

I can't see how someone can call themselves a Christian and say I am against someone else's happiness.  I am a Christian but I don't want those to nice ladies down the street to live in the same house and share the same bed. You may be entitled to your own opinion, after all we all have one.  BUT! I shouldn't have to be forced to hear it, since some how someone who is Gay is bothersome to you in some way... why is it ok that your hatred can be spread so easily and openly? You should hide in shame for even thinking such hateful thoughts about people.  See? It isn't nice is it? We let you have your religions and church's on every corner, the least you can do is have some love for your neighbors. 

   



FEAR

I have fear for the swimming leg of the triathlon.  Why do I have fear? I couldn't go under without holding my nose just 8 weeks ago.

A running mentor of mine did her first triathlon recently and had to be pulled out of the open water swim due to an anxiety attack.  Since hearing of this I have even more fear!  I mean she can out run me, she is a strong woman and she had issues during the swim.  That freaks me out!

Even when I swim alone, I have issues with my breathing and feeling anxiety as if I can't get up for air quick enough.  I have said repeatedly that I am not a strong swimmer and this is very true.  I really need to learn how to relax in the water. I can feel it myself that I am in constant battle to stay in a floating state, and that fight leaves me exhausted after one lap of the pool.  Then I catch my breath and repeat.  Heaven forbid me actually be able to make the turn at the end and continue on to the other end.  I swear I am that bad at this swimming thing.  WHAT WAS I THINKING signing up for a triathlon that involves swimming!!! 

I always thought the sport was cool, I was always envious of the people who could just jump in a pool without even holding their nose.  I am serious!!! That has always amazed me! I still can't jump in without holding the nose. My fingers are forever fixed to the tip of my nose when it comes to jumping.  I have learned to swim without holding my nose though, and this has been a major accomplishment.  I guess I always wanted to be a better swimmer and I thought by signing up for a triathlon with plenty of time to practice, train and actually learn how to swim that I would become a swimmer.  Why not sign up, right?  

Today however I inhaled half of that swimming pool through my nose, I choked, gagged and spittled way too much.  My nose was burning at one point you know that feeling, it is almost agony while you stare hopelessly at the sun hoping for a big ol' sneeze!  

Then, after my swim I came home and tried to go on a run, my legs wouldn't work.  They just would not work! I ran one mile, actually I probably physically ran half a mile and walked half a mile.  They ache, they feel tired and exhausted. Could have been from the swim, could be from using muscles I don't usually use during boot camp... but whatever it is, it is scary knowing I only have a little over 3 weeks to train for this and I couldn't even push myself to run one more mile today?  I am so in over my head with this!!! But, I keep going, just keep moving forward and I hope to amaze myself when it is actually time for the race.  

Monday, July 23, 2012

Weekend Recap

I have been fairly busy this weekend.  I had to get up early on Saturday for work, then was back home in time to get some chores done and get ready for my brother's visit.  We all loaded up and went to the Space and Rocket Center.  It was fun, too short of a visit but fun and I am greatful for the time that I got to spend with him and his family. 
I got to spend the day with my Mom.


The siblings

Here is my amazing Brother who I love so much!!!

 The Three Muskateers? No, The Three Stooges is more like it! haha

Space monkeys

He has grown taller than Chuck... I think Chuck is on his tippy toes here haha

This is my Lydia

Julie and Megan

The Nerd boys.. lol

My man and his LOUD shoes.

My grandmother and My grandpa. 



Sunday I slept in.  I mean way in! I didn't wake up until 9:30 am. And I didn't get out of the bed until after 10:30 am.  I got up and went to pick up a few groceries came back and made breakfast, something I rarely ever do.  

Then, we all headed out to see The Dark Knight Rises.  I loved the movie, but after the massacre in Colorado early Friday morning I couldn't seem to keep my eyes from glaring over to the EXIT door.  And, playing in my head what would I do if someone came in the door firing at me. I wonder if watching a movie in the theater will ever be the same.  I pray for all the families involved, some people in this world are frightening but I have to keep remembering that there are far more good then evil, aren't they?

After the movie although I wasn't very motivated, I knew I had not exercised since Friday morning... I knew I needed to get my ass moving!  So I came home and changed in to my running clothes and did a 3 miler.

Now on to today, Madison Adventure Boot Camp was fun! I had a great workout and now I am ready to tackle this Monday, or even better.... Bring on this week!

Friday, July 20, 2012

I am my own worst enemy

I am so ready for this week to be over!!! I made it through Boot camp.  I have one week and one day left.  I will miss it when it ends.  I will not miss waking up at 4:30 in the morning though, I will not miss that at all.  If I ever do this again I may sign up for an evening class, just because the mornings SUCK!!! lol I do love the class though.  I feel so good when I leave the workouts. I know I sweated enough that I could mop the floor literally, even though that would be really gross.  I know that I don't have to worry much about exercise because I probably burned 300+ calories in that hour.  My body feels relaxed.  It is like my body is happy that I am taking time for it, I know that sounds weird but days I exercise my body feels better than days I don't. I swear!!  Another plus about today's boot camp.  It was a lighter day. We did Yoga.  I LOVE YOGA! I never thought I would say that because I have always hated the videos I have tried to do of Yoga seem so friggin' hard to follow and do just right.  Yoga this morning in a class like environment.  It is refreshing. Still hard lol but FUN! I need to do more Yoga. I have read articles about Yoga for runners and just usually skip them because I have disliked that particular exercise.  I think I should reconsider now.

I have got to eat better!!! I was super good yesterday. Healthy salad for lunch, healthy salad for dinner (I mean healthy no cheese, or high calorie junk on them), really good for me!
Then blew all that healthiness by sitting in bed eating half a box of cheezits and some fig bars. Seriously! I wasn't even hungry.  They were there, they were handy and  I almost mindlessly snacked on these. Like I said almost?  I knew I shouldn't but thought it wouldn't hurt to have a few because I was soooo good! So it really wasn't mindless was it? hmm.   I added up the calories.....
I. Am. Stupid!!!!

On another note! I finally got my magazine I ordered two months ago! :) Yay me!



Do you think it is a sign that my very first magazine mentions a half marathon? Should I be considering this? HaHa

Thursday, July 19, 2012

My Furry Babies






I love this little guy, his name is Reuben and he is the BEST dog in the world.  He greets me with such love when I come home and anytime I need a hug he gives it to me! I can not possibly describe his companionship because it is almost as though he is human.  I kid around with the family all the time argueing that he is a HUMAN DOG.  He has feelings, and expresses them so vividly. I know when he is hurt, sad, lonely, happy, and I know how much he loves me.  It is unconditional love and he expresses it so wonderfully.  I never knew a pet could be so perfect until him.  I just never understood why folks would be so crazy about their dogs lol until Reuben.  He truly is a remarkable character.  I hope he lives forever (cause some dogs do that right?) because I hate to even think of the possibility of my life without him.

                                                       


This is crazy Cooper.  I love him too, he is new to the family but finally adjusting to his new home.   He is crazy, I mean probably the craziest dog I have ever seen, lol but he is a lot of fun too. He is showing love and affection to us now too, I think he likes his new home.


This is Trixie.  I love her so very much but can't say she loves me back. lol She finicky.  She only wants to be near you when she wants to be near you, she takes care of herself mostly and just wants some food and water periodically.  She lives outside and sometimes enjoys an evening inside, it is really whatever she wants because she RULES.


Thomas and I were being lazy in the bed, and he turned his head, we both cracked up at how Reuben was making sure his presense was known.  He has to be a part of us, no matter what we are doing, he just HAS TO!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Success



I think I may have found the secret to success with my workouts.  This morning started as most mornings do with boot camp. I got up and I made it there still half asleep.  I made it through the workout only to find myself RAVENOUS again.   But, what I did differently is I went to work and drank a whole bottle of water before I ate breakfast.  I feel satisfied.  I am not starving!  I think my body has been craving water and better nutrition.  I am an athlete now, or training to be one.... I need to hydrate and eat better.  My dinner last night? Popcorn.  See? I told you... I know what I need to be doing to be successful.  Now to put it into my daily life. 

After work I am meeting Juliana to go for a swim together.  Thursday after work I think I may be meeting her for a run too. I love having someone to exercise with me!

I just checked the swimming schedule at the place I like to go to, they have private swim lessons all month at the time I usually swim!!! UGHHH  So now I have to adapt.  I will meet Juliana at a different pool so no worries about that, but when I go alone I don't like to go out of my way to that pool.  I guess I will have to re-plan my swim time.  I can swim first and then run and that would fix  any scheduling conflicts.  I just love love love how that pool feels AFTER a run.  Oh well! This is life.

I feel so good after a work out, I should do this much more often.  Now to face the day.  It is Hump Day so Happy Humping! :)

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Focus

I am trying to stay focused on my goal.  I have 33 days until my Triathlon.  ACK! 

Movies



 What we have watched lately:

  • The Amazing Spiderman: Liked it.  Not great, but good.  I am not one that goes crazy over the comic book type movies...but it was enjoyable.  We saw it at the Monaco in the Prive theater and it that made the experience great because we were starving and pigged out on pizza and popcorn while watching the movie.
  • Big Miracle: Liked it a lot.  I love movies with animals/mammals/creatures that are saved in them.  I cried and laughed and really enjoyed it! It also had John Krasinski in it from THE OFFICE, and he is one of my favorite actors so that made the movie even better! :)
  • School of Life:   LOVED IT!  Ryan Reynolds is another favorite but this movie was touching, guess you could say it was my kind of flick.  I would watch it again.
  • A Thousand Words: It was ok.  I thought they could have made it better, I thought it might be funnier, I wasn't a big fan of this movie.
  • An Officer and A Gentleman: LOVED IT! Richard Gere is sexy! 



Friday, July 13, 2012

Wrinkles

I need to quit frowning so much.  I frown a lot with my eyes.  You know that crease in the middle of your eyebrows some folks get.  I have it horrible!!!!  I feel like it is really showing my age.  Also, it makes me look like a mean ass. 

Why do I frown so much you ask?  It is because I can't stand to wear my glasses all the time and since I can't see I squint and that squint makes a natural little frown in between my eyes.  One long huge crease in my face.  A  Big  Fat  Wrinkle!  I mean my face is drooping anyway, age is showing my eye lids are not as firm and lifted as they once were, I have more wrinkles then what I am mentioning here but this one little (well not so little) spot between my eyes is driving me crazy!  

I need a remedy a way to decrease this thing.  Any suggestions?


Not the best picture but you can see the crease errr should I say creases here... ACK!!!! My eyes look so mad.  I was actually smiling in this picture..


See?

I know this picture is hideous... I am getting brave posting such nonsense on the internet haha.  I am serious though... this crease has to go!  Botox? lol I am not a vain person really, I know I am not a gorgeous person, but looking pissed off at the world all the time even when I am smiling? lol Something has to give!




Memphis

I just watched this musical called MEMPHIS http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1712191/  It is wonderful! I didn't care for the ending but the talent on that stage is absolutely amazing!  I enjoyed every minute of this show. The way it was filmed was unique and there was a moment or two I forgot I was watching it at home in living room, I felt like I was there watching it or something, truly was a great recording and if you like musicals I highly recommend it. :)

Doctor Bubba

My brother is coming!!!! I love him so very much and I miss him and my neices something horrible!  I haven't made a trip to see him this year at all and I usually try to go at least once.  I may still try to go up to see him this fall sometime.

He is only coming for one day, so we have decided to spend the day at the Space and Rocket Center since it is a quick run through with his family.  This way we can have some fun together but still get to spend time together too.  I CAN NOT WAIT TO SQUEEZE THEM ALL!!!! 

That morning is going to be a bit crazy.  I am going to have to work, blah but that just means I get up and do early morning clinic, I am normally back home by 7 or 730 am.  There a triathlon right down the road from the house (Wet Dog Triathlon) that I was going to try to go and spectate so I can get an idea of a triathlon since I will be doing one in a few more weeks and I have never actually seen one! So I may try to get over there right after work and watch some of the participants work their ass off.  Then make sure I am home in time to get ready and meet them at the Space and Rocket Center... not even sure on that time yet.  But, I know that with all of that and me getting to squeeze my girls, it is going to be an abolutely marvelous day which is making me super excited!


Finally Friday!

Friday is my favorite day!  I still have to work, but I get to work knowing that I don't have to work tomorrow!  That makes me feel awesome.

I have woke up before 5am every 4 days this week, that is a record for me. I am still not a morning person lol maybe in the next few weeks I will be?  lol I just don't know.  I am going to sleep in a bit tomorrow but plan on getting up by 8 am to go for a run I need to log some miles I haven't ran this week.  I mean I swam, and did boot camp but I haven't ran.  I am planning on loggin 6.2 miles tomorrow morning.  That would be a 10K and I think I am capable of that.  We will see.  Sunday I am planning on a bike ride of atleast 10 miles because I also haven't been on my bike.  I have exercised a different way all week though.  Boot camp has me doing exercises I always knew I needed to do but HATE to do.  I can not stand a push up or a crunch.  I mean my upper body is not strong at all, and abs? Do I even really have those under my fluff?  I dunno, but it feels good.  I can feel how doing these things can and will make me stronger.  I just have to do them.  I think when I am done with boot camp I am going to continue this kind of workout and make sure I keep it in the mix with the running/swimming/biking.  I do know that my body may disagree with me on this one because my triceps are all but screaming at me "NOOOO!".

I think the exercise I am doing is making the stressors in my life more manageable.  I mean I can tell that I feel relaxed after a work out.  I mean my muscles are all "OUCH!" but the over all body feels relaxed, rejuvinated... like I can conquer the world today.  I see so many benefits from early morning workouts.  I haven't felt like much exercise in the afternoon this week, which is when I usually do all of my exercise, but I didn't have to feel bad about it because I worked out in the morning.  I normally already forget about the mornining workouts (besides the sore muscles, haha), and feel like I am missing out on my work out... then I have to remind myself that I did an hour this morning! I cut myself a break then. 

This weekend I am delcaring a work weekend.  I have shelves in my bedroom that are full of stuff I haven't used or touched in probably a year, so I am going to get rid of everything I no longer need/use.  I am going to go through my clothes/shoes and do the same thing.  Our bedroom is split in half, his and hers.  I hope to have the hers side of it in amazing shape (just like she is getting, hehe).  I also need to clean the kitchen/living room deep down.  Then!!!! I am going to tackle the backyard. I did the front yard two weeks ago.  I feel much better pulling into the driveway.  Thomas said he was going to tackle the carport which needs to be cleaned and organized.  I am going to cut down weeds that have turned into baby trees in my mulch in the back yard (yes, that is how bad the back yard is out of hand).  I probably going to be making a canoe into a flower bed (if Thomas is still on board with this), and throwing away all old, broken, weather worn items that are in back.  I don't know what the weather holds this weekend, but this is my plan and I am hoping to get to stick to it.  The evening hours I will probably chill out and be lazy.  I have several running books I have purchased on my kindles several weeks ago that I haven't read and I really want to, so I may dive into some of those.  I also have several articles I want to read that I have saved on the internet that I haven't made time to read.  Soooo cleaning/organizing and reading... that is on my agenda.  Besides the normal bill paying and grocery shopping things that have to be done.

Runner's World magazine is ticking me off.... I ordered a subscription in June, and it appears I will not be getting July they don't have me for my first issue until August....I was waiting and looking because I got an email when I ordered that said your first issue is on its way... and no friggin' magazine.  I mean it has been 4 weeks since I ordered, why this is bothering me? I really have no idea.

I look back at the money I have spent on running and getting fit this year and I want to puke.  lol I have a nice fancy watch, nice fancy clothes, I entered 10 races total and two of them were very expensive.  I have paid for GOGA and Boot camp and now a magazines subscription.  If I wasn't all spent out... I would buy these cool headphones I found that are water proof and wireless, I would sign up for another 5K that is in 2 weeks that I thought about doing but can't warrant spending money on that when I have to get school supplies for two kids.  I would sign up for a the half marathon training group and the actual half marathon.  I would pay for more boot camp.... but, I am all spent out.  Good thing running and exercise is free!  hehe.  It really is and I may be at the bottom of my financial barrel for a few months while we recoop from our vacation but I can still exercise and train without it costing me anything! I love this, I can go on spendy frenzies or not and still be able to have fun enjoying the benefits of exercise. :)

Thursday, July 12, 2012

A day in the life of me



I met Juliana for a swim yesterday after work at the actual place we will be swimming in the TRI  (Natatorium).  That pool is HUGE!  I thought we were swimming 25 meters down and back 8 laps to equal 400 meters for the TRI.  She informs it is the other length of the pool... the wide length that stretches oh I don't know MILES!!!! I started to have a panic attack instantly!  She calmed me down, and fed me a bunch of encouragement (which helps a lot). Then we got busy swimming.  We swam 450 meters.  At 400 meters we realized it had took approx 30 minutes with us stopping after each 25 meters and discussing form and technique because she is helping this non-swimmer learn how to swim, many thanks to you Juliana!  We take away the talk time and I may just do this in the 20 minutes that I said I could do it in.  I just don't know.  I guess finishing is winning at this point. 

We then were going to try to transition into a run, but the bottom had fell slap out of the sky!  I mean it wasn't raining it was pouring! It slacked up slightly still raining, so we decided why not? And we headed out from the Natatorium to run because it wasn't thundering/lightning.  We started on the run and in just moments there isn't a dry stitch of clothing on us, I look over to her and say "we are bad ss now, right?" she agreed and we continued on the run.  Then, the thunder/lightning started and we tucked our scared tails and ran back to the vehicles. :) It was a long wet drive back home! But, I enjoyed the exercise having someone doing it with me is a hundred times better than doing it alone.  I like that I am capable of doing it alone because I can't always depend on others to get the job done ya know, but its much more fun with someone along it really didn't feel like exercise at all.  More like a girls evening out.

It was a rough evening after I got home, we had to go check Destiny's bug out again she said it was "jumping out of gear".... it seems to be fine and she has had so much trouble with this car but everytime Thomas or I get in it is fine.  I have decided to park the car and not let her drive it anymore. So we seriously need to sell this bug.  I think and he thinks there isn't a thing wrong with the car besides it is 1970 and needs a little more tender love and care, the motor, tires, brakes everything seem to be fine for that model of car.  She is upset with me because she might have to figure out more creative ways to get back and forth to work, like walking? It is about 1.5-2 miles.  That can be walked at a casual slow pace in 35-40 minutes.  It can be biked in 10 minutes. Her arguement is she can't go to work all nasty from the heat outside.  I sit here at my desk ready to work only moments after completing a boot camp.  I came in and used the bathroom with baby wipes and washed up, refreshed, put make up on and fixed hair.  Where there is the will there is a way, and unfortunetly for her it is time she needs to learn that.   I love my daughter more than I could possibly describe and I am super proud of her.  But, I also want her to get on track.  I have still asked her for days, weeks, and months to pick it up, do better than she has because she knows she is slacking.  There is no umph in her. And, rather she is in a funk or not, life keeps going so she is going to have to learn she makes the best of what she has.  Right now she has a job, she has a home to live in and a family that loves her so she is pretty darn blessed.  It is her Senior year in school and it is suppose to be enjoyable and fun and now she is stuck without a car.  She has made enough money this summer to buy a car, but I don't know what she has done with her money.  She has gave me $80 bucks to help me pay for her brother's basketball camp since I dind't have the money until I got paid.  I haven't paid her back yet, I think it is more because I pay insurance on her car, I pay for a cell phone that she has lost and doesn't care about anymore.  So I am kind a having a hard time paying that back to her, but I will once it isn't going to put me in a bind to do so because I said I would.  I do what I say I will do.  I just can't help but feel like she has wasted away her money, blown it and not once really said "thank you" for helping me with the car, "thank you" for paying for my insurance, "thank you" for paying for my cell phone all these years.  She looks as it like I owe these things to her.  So, cold hearted as it may be I told her I didn't want her to drive that bug anymore. She doesn't know how she is getting to work today.   She can't drive my car since I had to get a  new car and owe more than it is worth probably (after the accident she had), I will not take the chance of her having another accident in it.  I mean if I do then its my fault but if she does it is my fault too for allowing her the "priveledge" to drive it, so I opt to not let her. Also, I use it to get to work everyday.   Being 17 without a car sucks, but if you are timid and scared behind the wheel to drive a particular car then you shouldn't drive it.  I think it may be because she wants another car.... we know this. BTW I only bought the 1970 bug because she wanted one.  Anyway, I could go on and on... but you see what is on my mind alot.

After we got the bug home it is like 7:45 pm.  I had to shower, and put dry clothes on... YES I was still wet from the run while we were getting the bug, no need to dry off just yet.  After my shower we loaded back up and went to take some red box movies back, and to grab something to eat.  We thought about fast food because it was so late, but then decided we would stop in a little chinese buffet.  BIG MISTAKE.  We got in the joint and there was NO customers at 8:30 ish.  They didn't close until 10 pm sooooo I am thinking hmmm? This might be a good time for a buffet.  The lady seats us and asks for our drink order.... I said "water", Thomas said "sweat tea".  We proceed to look at the food bar. OMG it was nasty!!! Food had been sitting on the burners so long that it was baked to the pans, the soup was empty down to the bottom, everything looked so nasty, I look at Thomas, he looks at me we both have this impending doom on our face.  I am thinking is it too late to leave?  Then the waitress hollers across the empty restuarant to say "we no have sweat tea,  we no have sweat tea, what else you want?"  I used that as my out. I looked to Thomas and said "You want to go somewhere else? He immediately said "YES!".  So we told her never mind we were going to go somewhere else.  She was trying to smooth it over with us and I said "the food is old anyway, so we are going to just go somewhere else".  OMG I understand them not wanting to be wasteful with no customers there and it being a buffet type restuarant.  But, if business is that slow don't do a buffet? Buffet's are nasty anyway, all the people all the germs.... but one that is not visited enough is bad because the food sits out for GOD ONLY KNOWS how long.

We left there and just walked down the street to the nearest grocery store. We went in an picked up stuff to make spaghetti at home.  Then, I had to get gas.  Then, I had to pick up Destiny from work.  Finally we made it home, Thomas cooked the spaghetti (thankfully). While I washed my work out clothes and clothes that I needed to wear to work.  Then I did the dishes, cleaned up after the pets a bit, and we were finally able to sit and relax.  I didn't get in the bed until almost 11 pm, but I dozed on the couch about 30 minutes before I went on to the bedroom.  But, if you remember my post from yesterday... this was not a good thing!  I got up this morning for boot camp like a good lil' camper.  But, it wasn't easy.  Not easy at all!

Now lets hope today is less eventful.



Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Sleep

I have a very important sleep schedule,  it is that I MUST GET SLEEP!  I do not function well on little sleep.  This morning for example, I woke up at 3:45 am (had to pee) after not going to bed until right at 12am.  My clock was set to go off at 4:30 am for early clinic.  I figured while I was up why not call and see if I actually have to get up and ready at 4:30 or if I can re-set my clock to 7am (which I was hoping for).  Well, they said I had to get up at 4:30 am.  I went on back to bed, and tried to go back to sleep but couldn't because I feared the clock wouldn't go off or I wouldn't get up and I already told them I would be there so now I can't go snooze for that extra 35-45 minutes.  I get on up at 4:20 am and start getting ready and head to work, but not before I make sure I have my swimming gear (Juliana and I are swimming after work today).  On the drive in to work, I am finding my head is heavy and hard to hold up, my eyes are closing even though I am trying to hold them open, YES WHILE I WAS DRIVING!!!  I rolled the window down, blared the radio trying to wake myself up and still I my body was trying so hard to doze.  THAT IS SCARY!!!  I could have pulled over and took a nap had I not had to get work, thankfully I made it successfully to the office.  While there I was pretty good and awake from the rain that hit me on my way in, and the bright light of the office. 

I finished my morning work and stopped for breakfast (Hardee's was horrible for me but I felt I needed food.. to stay awake?  Another reason I battle my weight.)  and now I sit here at my desk.

Funny thing about this sleep is I worked at a Sleep Clinic for 5 years.  My daily job consists of setting patients up with Positive Airway Pressure for treatment of sleep apnea.  I know all about Narcolepsy, Idiopathic Hypersomnia and Obstructive Sleep Apnea.  I have never once considered testing myself yet I have moments like this morning all the time. Sometime it is my drive home, but mostly its the early drive in the morning in the dark that is the hardest for me.  I honestly don't think I have a sleep disorder.  I know when I was at my heaviest 188 lbs that I would snore more often then not because Thomas would talk about it more.  He rarely mentions snoring to me since I lost a few pounds.  I sleep like a log!!! I mean I can have stressers and emotional things that would normally keep people awake with worry, it makes me more exhausted.  I sleep more in times of stress and worry than when I am at my happiest.  Weird?  I sleep hard too.  I may get up to pee once, if that and I don't move once I fall asleep.  Sometimes I am asleep before I remember my head actually hitting the pillow.  Some would be envious of my sleep patterns, especially those who suffer from insomnia.  But, the problem is that my sleep rules my life.  I mean those with Insomnia learn to function on no sleep.  I try to stay up late a few nights to watch movies/shows with my man and hang out with him, and I literally suffer the whole next day.  I got close to 5 hours of sleep last night which is not my 7-9 hours that I try to get daily.  I know if I got that 7-9 hours I will be fine, I will be in a good mood despite what trial and emotional struggles I may be dealing with, and I will not be trying to fall asleep at the wheel and I will feel like myself.  With anything less than that 7 hours you can bet that I will be moody, irritable, my mind will be foggy, I will make more mistakes at work and I will be fighting sleep all day. I usually wind up with a headache before the end of my work day.  That is how powerful my sleep is to me.  After two days in a row of less than 7 hours of sleep my body will shut down all together... and I will simply HAVE to sleep no if's, and's, or but's about it. 

Now I am sitting here writing this post simply to stay busy and do something, because I still have 25 minutes before all the lights are up here and the store is officially opened and then I will have the phone and patients coming in that will keep me awake.  Does your sleep effect you this much? Does it dictate your life? I live with two children who have pretty good sleep habits, they go to bed and sleep for the most part and get in the morning, they don't nap and they seem to function.  Then I live with Thomas who is a chronic Insomniac, who I rarely EVER actually see sleep and I don't know how he functions. I worry about him driving and stuff but the thing is he is rarely affected by the little sleep besides his irritability he has, I feel is his lack of sleeping coming out and I usually disregard it as just that because everyone NEEDS sleep don't they?  I mean am I the only one with this desperate need for sleep?  I don't believe I truly have a sleep disorder because I function WONDERFULLY on 7-9 hours of sleep.  If I felt this way after getting a full nights sleep then I would know there is something seriously wrong with my sleep pattern and might need to have a sleep study done.  But, I feel wonderful with the right amount of sleep.  I just can't skimp on it. I have to have the exact amount every single night to feel normal and not like a zombie.
Blah! I need a nap!
(photo of my daughter for Halloween several years ago kind represents how I feel about right now!)

(warning: I can not be held accountable for this post or errors found within because I was sleep typing it)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Blah Blah Blah

Ok, if you have been around here lately you know my blog has had some changes, and then they are gone. I was going to create a blog about my training and have it as a page here, but decided that I don't write on this blog enough as it is and to complicate it for myself by breaking it up in sections makes no sense.

Also I have a case of the Blah's

I was going to run this morning, but couldn't make myself get up.  I was going to run/swim after work today but then couldn't make myself do that 1) it was storming and 2) the dreaded monthly time came today.  So I have decided to just scrap today and hope for a better one tomorrow.

Another reason for my blah's... my son tells me he wants to live with his dad.  He is 13 years old now so it is ultimately his decision but I think it is a horrible decision.  Not because his dad will mistreat him or anything because he will not, and he will have a lot of fun with him and his family.  But, because my son needs to be pushed. He has a gift.  A brilliant gift and he is capable of more than he gives himself credit for, he is super smart. I mean like super smart but never applies himself.  He is in honor classes because I push him for him to do the best he can, but he doesn't want to.  He wants to go to his dads, and breeze by with as little as possible.  I want more for him.  It hurts my soul deep down but what will happen will happen.  I will love him regardless and will always be his mom.  Right now though I am hurt, scared for him and frustrated.

Another reason, my daughter who is gorgeous, smart and a SENIOR (weep) who works her life away these days is driving me crazy!!!! She lost her phone, doesn't care.... she has no time for friends, doesn't seem to care.... she lives in a pig sty, doesn't care...... she ignores all responsibilities that I give her and things that I expect her to do, she doesn't care.  This case of the doesn't cares is bothering me.  One, it makes me concerned for her as to what is going on with her. Two, it makes me angry that she will disrespect me and will purposely ignore what it is I may ask her to do, like feed the animals?  This is bothering me.  This is bothering me A LOT!  I don't know if I should make her quit her job? Punish her? There is nothing to punish her with besides making her quit.  Take her to the doctor to see if she has more going on then she is letting me know like depression of some sort? Is it just laziness? Is it just defiance??? UGHHH Parenting just plain sucks sometimes.

I love my kids so much it hurts and they are wearing me out with worry these days.  I always heard teenage years were hard but never realized just how hard it is.

On even another blah note, my house is messy, my yard is messy and the clutter and messiness is making me feel like I am drowning and that is making me depressed.

On even another note, I have friggin' early clinic in the morning.

Now that I got all of that out, maybe I will feel a bit better.  Tomorrow is another day.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Camping

We made it on our first camping trip of 2012.  We have normally already been on one or two trips but my addiction to signing up for 5K races has prohibited us from going as much.

We chose to go near my Daddy's at Oak Mountain State Park (what you don't call your Dad, Daddy? believe it or not I still do!)   We had a nice site, the bathrooms were manageable, it wasn't too hard to get the campsite up and back down so all in all it was a nice successful trip.

We planned on going on a fishing trip with my Daddy and we did just that, the only downfall is the rain that fell and kinda of rained on my parade for a bit, but it quit eventually.  We also barely caught any fish, so we didn't get to have a fish fry like we had wanted.

We did go out for Mexican though... and again we had a good trip all together. :)

Here are some photos:
Here is my Daddy!

Here is the start of the rain

I am getting soaked

I am not happy about the rain

My Daddy's face says it all, it has STOPPED RAINING!!

Ok, now I am happy

I caught a stick

I caught this lil' guy and it is the only fish I caught!  Yes my Daddy had to take it off the hook for me!

I decided to lay down and take a nap on the boat

Me and My daddy

Pretty Flowers

Thomas putting lime in his Corona




Here is a photo of our camping site.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

4th of July on the 5th

I am a day late and a dollar short most of the time.  But, thought I would share my 4th of July Celebration with you.

We slept in a little bit on the 4th, then got cleaned up and headed out to Thomas' Aunt's house (Carla and Don).  They hosted a nice 4th of July BBQ with hamburgers and hot dogs that were delish.  Then the boys (nephews) all played in their pool.  I even jumped in to cool off for a bit near the end.






Then, we went home to have our own little BBQ that evening



Then we met up with Juliana and Patrick at Point Mallard for the Fireworks!!!







All in all it was a good day!

Tomorrow we head out camping at Oak Mountain State Park... looking for a fun filled weekend!