Friday, August 19, 2011

Medical issues

I have three things going on with me medically that I really need to do something about and haven't for a long time.
1) I have a pretty good size knot on my head.  It is on the top right side of my head, it is small/round and hard as hell.  I did finally mention it to my brother (the Cardiologist) and he said he "wouldn't worry about it" while his wife (the Nurse Practitioner) said "You know he knows about the heart not the brain right?" haha.
Thomas has worried about it, I have worried about it, but it has been there probably 2 years now and I haven't had it checked out.

2) I have pretty significant shoulder pain. It has limited me this summer more than ever with the kayaking. The shoulder pain started about 4 years ago. It has gradually gotten worse and sometimes it is too painful to "fix" my hair so I just pull it up in a ponytail to keep from having to hold my arms up too long with the curling iron or straightener.  I even went and got a perm this year to make my hair extra curly so I might be able to moose it and go... and I HATE IT.  I beg for family to massage that one shoulder all the time and sometimes they do and it feels totally awesome like all the bad in the world is gone for that moment. I can't figure out what it is or where the pain is actually generalized to. That is weird I know. It is just an ache. Just a pain in my shoulder.... I try to "self diagnose" often.  I really should have it checked out before I have some major issue and have to require surgery or something I know.

3) I am obese.  There I said it. I have lost 5 lbs recently which is a start, but the fact that I need to lose close to 50 lbs says a lot about my health.  I have not been to see a physician about my health in over 5 years.  Sad but true.  I went to the doc in the box this year for my broken tailbone (because it was seriously injured and I didn't believe it was healing fast enough, because I wanted to be a bad ass derby girl, so I went to the doctor for that but want go for serious health issues? My priorities may be a bit confused).  I have not had a physical in over 5 years. I have avoided this because 1) I need a new doctor and don't know who I want to use. 2) I am obese and don't need them telling me this because DUH I already freaking know it! 3) I am borderline diabetic (another self diagnosis) I say this because I am obese and I feel as though I might claw someone's eyes out if I don't eat something sometimes.  Actually it feels as though I may vomit, I feel really sick, not hungry just sick and that feeling tells me I need food. I eat something (anything) and the feeling gets better. Now it might not be diabetes but I do know excessive weight and eating horrible (both of which I do) leads to Type II Diabetes and well... I avoid going to the doctor because I don't want to actually hear it.

Now it is pathetic that I am this way, I have worked in the Medical Field since 1998.... but I am only human.

I tell myself all the time to make time for myself.  Sadly the time I make for myself seems to be to sit and rest instead of do what I need to!


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