Monday, February 28, 2011

Improvement?

I was all about coming here and blogging my progress,  until.... well we will get to that later.

I went skating yesterday with the family at the public session.  Got there at 1pm, stood in line a while since everyone and their brother decided to have a birthday party and all were scheduled at 1pm and it took 20 minutes to get in the door.  Then, I proceeded to purchase some new laces to see if this would help me get my skates right.  I laced them bad boys up and to my total enjoyment had no issues!  I wasn't cutting my circulation off anywhere and they weren't too lose anywhere! GO ME!  So I proceeded to skate around the rink.  I did my personal best ever during a skate session and skated 100 laps.  That may not be alot of some but for me it was good.  I usually stop fifteen hundred times to fix something or rest a sore spot or something.  So I was proud of that session!

(Here are some photos from that session)
Destiny worked the clicker as she wasn't skating.....see 100 clicks! hehe
My new laces.
Thomas examining his new skates that he built
My baby girl :)
My baby boy :)


I then picked Christina up and headed to HSV for derby practice.  Got there early enough to get my gear on and skate around several times before practice began... I love having the time to do that warm up before the warm up, and the skates were right again! YAY! No discomfort, No sore muscles or bad spots... and I was feeling good.  Practice started with 180 turns which is fun, and hard at the same time... hard for me because if you use your hands then everyone has to do planks and my balance getting up in that position is not that good.... but I managed and felt like I was doing decent.  Then Bridgitte had us doing "suicides".... 20 times across the rink doing baseball slides/ crunches and then T-stops.  We took a breather and then did an obstacle course.  We took another break and then did 20 more "suicides" where we went across the ring doing all fours and leg lift, then plow stops, while my form may have not been perfect for any of those... I was doing it! The first practice that I was actually able to do everything, to some extend!  We did another exercise (it doesn't deserve a mention in this post because it SUCKED! lol it was a whole body work out and it wasn't fun! But, I am sure it was good for us).  We took a break, and went to watch the scrimmage.  All was well, I was feeling good.  Legs were doing good. No equipment issues or discomforts and this had to be my very first practice where all was well!!!  After our break we were going to begin taking/giving whips.  Fun right? I was thinking so, until the instant that my feet got tangled up with a teammate and I couldn't regain my balance and wound up..... straight on my ass again!  I swear I saw stars and tears appears in my eyes instantly.

As you may very well know, this is very disappointing to me.  It is now the day after.... I am sore as hell.  It hurts like day 1 from the broken bum getting in a sitting position, rising from that position, its miserable.  Its not the same spot!  Its a little higher up.  I broke the end of the tailbone 4.5 weeks ago, this spot is higher up toward my back but still my butt.  So I am hopeful maybe its not broke,  but there is a few positions I can get in and it literally takes my breath away with pain.  I have cried because I was hurt, made, frustrated, discouraged and now my feeling is more, "it is what it is". What can I do? So I went from the best day on skates to the worst.  The most embarrassing thing of it all is that I screamed out when I fell, I screamed and cried and made a big old scene, something I would rather have not done. UGHHH!! Oh well... "what's done is done". lol

On another note: I had an appt today that didn't go as well as I had hoped, and now I am sitting back at home and took the rest of the day off, because well I had to go in at 4 am and I didn't feel well.... then had to go to the meeting and still didn't feel well and now I sit in my chair (on my hip, not my ass) and still don't feel well.  One day at a time.... blah.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Just a post

A day or two or even three of nothingness, that's what I want! Where I can sleep as late as I want, wear my pjs as long as I want, read in my kindle, go outside and enjoy the weather, ride my bike, take some photos.... yes days that require no "have to's" or no "housework" or no "schedule". 

Instead I am managing a family of 4, cleaning, organizing, and disorganizing again.  I never get "caught up" anymore.  I am so super duper busy it feels.

I love derby and can't wait to be awesome as I am no where close to that awesomeness, I get discouraged.  All the time I have poured into skating, the bum is better, the mental block (errr Fear) seems to be improving and I honestly feel I can reach this goal.  But its still going to require a lot more time!  Time I don't have much of.  I think if I only went to practice 3 days a week I wouldn't feel the strain of lots and lots of skate time, but we go on Tues, Thurs and Sunday before practice most weeks as well... that is 3 more practice sessions, which has me skating right at 5-6 times a week.  Now the last 4 weeks haven't been very productive due the broken tail bone because well the fear out weighed anything and the discomfort kept the fear in check.  Now, I have new AWESOME skates, less discomfort from my injury, so there are no excuses! 

My legs were killing me in practice on Friday.  It wasn't fatigue, it wasn't that I had over done it as I never really started.  I love my new skates but they are taking me some time to get use to. I either get them too tight, or too loose and when I put my skates on, have no "skate alone, warm up time" as I make it at the rink right at  or a little after and jump right in to a team warm up session that has me skating faster than I am use to (as I am just now feeling more confident of getting some speed up since the bum is better)...... and skate in a tight circle, with my skates too loose, well that causes certain muscles to tense up.  Once that happens it is like an act of congress to get them loose!  I mean I stretch and stretch, and OMG at the burning, tight feeling I have in the lower legs from trying to push through and skate but not having the skates right.  Then I tighten the skates to only go out and practice 180 turns, and after about 5 of those my arches in my feet are tingling and one of my toes I can't hardly feel.... so I loosen the skates again.  Never at all in practice did I get the skates where they were comfortable!  Now at a skate session not a practice, I have time to work with the skates and once I get them where I like them I have been skating much better. I don't notice the burning in the lower legs, or any other discomfort like that annoying lil muscle that was bother me, but this is skating around the big rink in a regular skating session, its not the same as practice. 

Now, one lady at the rink stopped and asked If I liked my new skates and I said yes I love them once I get them adjusted the way I like them.  She said she was asking because she never could use the lower cut/speed type skates, she skates with the higher boot.  She was mentioning to me the burning, tingling sensations she would get in the lower leg with the lower cut boot..... so now am I all is it ankle support? Is it that I weigh 50 lbs more than I should have had ankle injuries? But truthfully once I get the gear right.... I do ok!  I mean if its not the shoes its the darn knee pads are pulled to tight, or too loose.  lol I feel like I am trying to make excuses when in all fairness, I am not meaning to! I am soon to be 35.  I see ladies out there older than me, I see ladies out there heavier than me.... so if they can do it I can do it!!!!!!!!! I would say its great exercises but the way I stop and go and stop and go I am not really getting much of a work out.  I get more exercise out of the non skate time honestly. 

Thomas is loving the skating we have done together, so I will continue to skate with him outside of the derby. So there should be tons of time for me to continue to improve....  He just built his own skates, with some really expensive components lol. His skates are probably 1000 dollar skates.  He is trying to learn how to do jam skating and enjoying the time out on the rink. 

I feel like I am the worst, slowest skater at practice, and even at the rink sessions.  I am out of shape, learning to skate from the very beginning (as not ever skating as a child/teenager) and never really have found confidence on my skates.    There was a brief moment about 2 times before the first day of boot camp that I was feeling less fear and trying new things and the confidence was there.... then I broke my ass and not only is it back to square one with the confidence but now the fear has taken a much larger roll.  The more time I spend on them (without a broken bum) the more confidence I should find.... once confident other tasks like jumps, and really all the skills I need to have to play derby should be more easily reached.  So now that I am 85-90% better from my injury and so close to being normal again I am not backing down from this agenda.

I am so far from doing jumps though... I know I should just face the fear and do it! Whats the worst that could happen? I fall on my ass? I hated not even attempting them in practice with a teammate of mine did so after just taking a bad fall and fell again.... so then now I am like all wimpy as I won't even attempt it.  Geez it makes me so mad at myself. 

The more pissed at myself I get the more determination I feel.  I know I would have progressed a little more had I not had the injury and I know how bad it has been recovering from it more than anyone else because its my ass lol.  I haven't wimped out here.  I have stuck with it despite the facts that keep wanting me to stop.... I keep showing up and I keep putting on the skates.  So I have accomplished that much.  Now its time to reach those goals..... I keep meaning to practice by doing wall sits and wearing ankle weights and performing exercises to build up both my upper and lower legs as they are the main muscles I will use, but I honestly haven't put enough time in on this because its so damn hard to find time for anything anymore!!!!!!!!  But, that is another excuse, that I don't have to make for myself.... I will simply have to find that time.  Building up those muscles, strengthening my core, and spending time on the skates will make me an awesome skater.  It just isn't going to happen over night, or not for me anyway!

Well time to get busy and get ready to go skate.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Help a Derby Girl

This derby girls story is too close to home for me.... I have already donated, and hope you will too!

I was in a similar situation back 11 years ago when I was going to move to Florida.... and my ex slapped me with papers saying he was going to fight for custody and when I spoke with a lawyer it was going to cost me a ton, so I stayed here.  What gripes my butt about it all is that my kids father who fought me, didn't even pay child support or anything but had the right simply because he was a sperm donor to alter our life.  I still don't get child support (one pays me when he wants to whatever he wants to and the other doesn't pay me a dime and never has!) and the courts do nothing to help me (believe me we have been there 5 different occasions but they can stop me from moving one state over?  I Didn't have the means to fight or I would have. 

My life is great and awesome things have happened so I don't really have any regrets for not going, but it did turn my world upside down because I had already put in my notice at my job, spent money on an apartment and had a job lined up there... I had to take a job out of my field for less money to keep supporting my kids and it was a hard time.  But, luckily I had family and friends and we made it through.  I wish her much luck with her journey and hope she raises the money she needs to fight for her child!


Not only did I JUST WANT to donate to this cause, I also wanted to get the FUNK out of my skate bag! How awesome is her little invention... neato!

You know you do too!

Pushing on through

This week has about knocked me down and if that wasn't enough it proceeded to stomp on top of me a few more times for good measure.  It feels like one of the longest weeks and really nothing too exciting is going on... weird I know.

I have been super busy lately, and trying to get caught up on everything and deal with all sorts of other issues... so its just a rough week.  I have done stupid things like pay the utility bill through my bank acct online but 70 bucks short, for no reason other than I wasn't paying attention to how much I paid the bill for... so now I have to get 70 more bucks to them to avoid a cut off, which is stupid because they already got 250 bucks earlier!!!  Yes the utility bill was 330 bucks, which is another reason to make me have a bad week.  I should be thankful I have the funds for such a thing, and not complain about it lol but its just one of those weeks where I complain ABOUT EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!

But I can always count my blessings no matter what! :) This too shall pass.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Monday, you are not my favorite.

Now, that has been said.

I am ready to skate!  Not only am I ready to get awesome at skating, I am ready for camping.  The weather is ready for me to do so too!  I am ready for kayaking, cycling, white water rafting, hiking... all the things that I enjoy. 

On another note: My preteen son is driving me insane... I love him  more than words can express, but OMG he is getting in trouble at school and staying in trouble at home lately. I got home last night to find that he had thrown away two bowls, a fork, a glass, and a cup (that is reusable)..... he also throw away a reversible belt that I bought him to wear with his chorus outfit ( a necessity) and his dress clothes..... he handed me a note this morning that says he was acting up in class on Friday (deliberately disrupting class) UGGGGHHHHH..  The kid doesn't have his cell phone or ipod which he has been without now for 5 weeks, he has been grounded from tv and games stations, he has had to read extra time and write essays, he has had to write his teacher apology letters all these things and yet he is still misbehaving.  Then I hear "I want to live my daddy"... I have excepted that he doesn't like my rules and the structure Thomas and I give here..... and I have said "ok " to living with his dad now "I don't think its the right decision" but "ok".  He wants to pay football, and his behavior has already kept me from signing him up for baseball this year.... not sure what his deal is or if he will be able to be involved in anything until he straightens up.  Hopefully its just a phase... but I don't like it!!!!  

Sunday, February 20, 2011

TOOT TOOT!!!

Yes that is me tooting my own horn! :)

I love love love my new skates.  They have some breaking in time they still need and I have to learn how to lace them exactly (not too tight or too loose), but once out on the floor I felt like a different skater. Yes I am still nervous from my tail injury, but I even did a few crossovers today and took the corners much faster with my new skates they are awesome!  Now to work on my endurance, balance and get that left leg use to working more I will be set to start focusing on the goals to achieve for derby.  I love derby, love watching them, learning and practicing with them all.... but know that I am far from scrimmage eligibility and I am ok with that.  Fix some of my issues and work on my weaknesses and I will be kicking ass before long! (See new found hope and encouragement today)

We had outdoor practice, and even though I totally suck at outdoor skating and it is ALOT tougher than it appears.... I loved it! :) I love that I am making new friends and getting to spend some with such awesome people!  I love skating (even though I may not appear to with all my stopping and slowing that I do). 

I am going to his Skate Castle on Tuesday night.... then practice on Wednesday and skate again on Thursday at the Castle.  My goal this week, to work on skating in the right stance (without bending my back but "sitting on the public toilet" with the knees bent), endurance and crossovers.  Next week I will set other goals for myself.  I am so glad I am working through the injuries (oh that little annoying muscle that has given me horrible fits has not bothered me one time today!!! I think it was my skates, and I am so super glad that there is one less thing for me to complain about haha.  Now get the booty healed the rest of the way and I will be set... btw it is much better but still an issue with skating for me... at the rate it has healed though I really think it will not be an issue at all in a week or two tops! :)

Ok, I am thinking of ordering some steak out for dinner lol its been a long day! :)

I has

New skates! :)

I can not wait to try them out today.

Practice is outdoors today so I am breaking out some old cheapo skates that I haven't worn in a long time and using them for outdoors.... I may be selling my Rock GT50s that are only 1 month old because they are a good size too big for me and may very well be causing me issues with skating because of that.... but they are good comfortable skates that are fast so I like them alot.  Like is not the same word for my  new skates though... I am in love! I got Riedell Wickeds and I haven't skated with them yet but around the store where I bought them (Asphalt Beach in Nashville) and around the house, so haven't really got to use them at the rink... I will today though! I think this is a love at first site (feel) kinda of thing.  I will have to break them in, but they already feel so much better and I feel like the skates are part of my feet more than being these big gawky things that my feet were trying to stay in. 

This may help me with my issues I am having.... I sure hope!  I am looking forward to practice.  First, I am going to put the outdoor skates on so Thomas can adjust them for me, and try them out since I haven't been on them in FOREVER.... then, I am going to Skate Castle to try out my new wicked skates.  Then, its off to practice. :)

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Happiness is

getting off at 1:30 pm and meeting the love of your life at Beauregard's for hot wings! :)

Wait I said I was going to eat better today! lol this is a rarity though!  I never get off early and we haven't had Beauregard's in at least a year! (Notice I said we hadn't had Beauregards not that we hadn't had hot wings lol that is something we do weekly!)

I am super excited about getting off to work early! My last few "early" days have ended up with me working a full 12 and often followed by skating somewhere.  So I will have my 8.5 hrs in here by 1:30 pm, get to have wings with my man, can goof off with him until later and still have time to practice skating and those darn crossovers! That is having my cake and eating it too! :) I love it.

We may be heading to Nashville this weekend to check out Asphalt Beach and see what all they have, I need to try on different skates as mine are too big I am afraid... but since I am a dummy I may be way wrong about that lol I may still be searching for excuses.  Anyway, we will see. It will give Thomas and myself a day trip regardless so why not go?

We may be signing up for a pool league on Thursday nights, I just signed up for a two week boot camp to get in shape lol it was on sale for 10 bucks and I couldn't resist... I have derby 3 nights a week and skating with the family 2, I am wondering how thin I can spread myself I guess!  But, if I stay busy like this... maybe I will get out of housework totally???? or will it just pile up around me and make me more insane than I am already?  Maybe we wont be home so it will never get messy? haha that's a joke.... wow when will I ever do laundry? lol   I guess I am just going to take one day at a time and enjoy the hell out of my life!  We use to do the pool league, line dancing, baseball and other things all thrown in together.  We like to camp, kayak, cycle and manage to do those things... I am sure we can fit in derby, exercise and pool league in too! :)  

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Balls to the wall!

Ok I am fracking tired of being a puss.  I have whined and I have moaned about either my  broken tail bone or my freaking little muscle pain in my leg long enough.  3 weeks in and still just a big fat wimp. 

Tomorrow no excuses!  I am getting out and hitting the rink.  If I fall I FALL!  If I land on my ass, then I land on my ass!  The fear that I have created in me has to vanish!  My goal is to skate at minimum 100 laps in the session tomorrow and do CROSSOVERS so that lil whiny ass leg muscle will chill the frack out!  

I did enjoy tonights practice be it off the skates, but I did enjoy it.  NSO's are pretty awesome and their job is not easy!  Learning something new is always exciting! :) Nice to know if I do hurt myself I could still be involved in derby... but for now I want to be the ones out there skating!!!!  I want to learn how to skate, and ummm I  am not going to do that without the damn skates on my feet!

I was miserable while on the skates tonight, I didn't skate any laps really... not so sure where this crap is coming from.  Other than my horrible form, my sticky right foot that HATES to leave the floor (probably from the torn ligaments in my left foot my right foot doesn't trust the left to hold my fat ass up! but it is strong and it can do it..... damnit!) 

Ok, I have whined enough. They make tylenol, advil, ice, heat for all my issues lol. 

4 am comes awful early so I am going to bed now, night night!

Blogging

I am thinking of creating a skating blog... because my personal blog has been filled with nothing but skating stuff for a while now.  I do have more interesting stuff, but as many days a week I have been skating now after work, all I have to write about is work, kids mischief or skating.  Sad but true!

I have not been on skates since Sunday... I may suck more today than on other days because of this, however I  may do better as I feel a ton more energized.  I think I have been so busy lately  that I just needed to rest.  I went to bed last night at 8:30 asleep by 9pm and feel amazingly refreshed today!  All day yesterday I dragged as though I was heavily sedated, was asked by my man if I was going skating, then my derby wife and I finally decided and told them both "not tonight".  I fell asleep on the couch for 10-15 minutes before helping with dinner, had dinner, dozed on the chair again and went on to bed... exhaustion was an understatement. But, today I am awake and ready for derby practice.  My bottom is better day by day, not 100% yet but I would give it at about 60% better.  I don't want to push it and fall on it again, as that would only put me back at the beginning of this damn injury, but I am getting there.  Today is week 3 and the doctor plus many articles I have read says it usually takes 4-6 weeks for bones to heal.  So I am hopeful in the next couple of weeks I can go back to 100% effort and not care if I wind up on the floor unexpectedly or not! hehe

I am patiently awaiting my income tax return so I may pay off my credit cards! Yes that is plural, I had a wonderful Florida vacation and everyone got laptops for Christmas and and and and lol its time to pay for it now!

Well time has again caught up with me, time get this hump day over with!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

This weekend

I have done nothing!  Friday nights practice pretty much kicked my ass and I couldn't even put forth 100% work out due to the butt issues. Chocolate definitely kicked my booty... my legs, my abs are so sore right now... it feels good!!!!!  I love knowing the the right muscles that needed worked out were definitely worked out.  It has been 2.5 weeks since I fell on my booty so I am hopefully just a couple more weeks and I will be back at 100%.... very hopeful! I do feel much better than before, but of course squats and lunges, and full situps are hard to do with a broken bum.    I have learned how to exercise my one little skate muscle that has been a biotch to me lately and will be exercising that.

Saturday, I slept the morning away, had a nice brunch at Waffle house, went grocery shopping and V-day shopping, watched some flicks with the family and overall the day was uneventful and nice.

Today, I have slept the morning away again! lol I love weekends.  Made some sticky buns for breakfast and now sit here wondering where to begin the dreaded housework, blah.

Tonight is practice, I think it may be a scrimmage..... I look forward to watching this, taking notes, learning more as I don't have full concept of everything as of yet.

Tomorrow..... is Valentine's Day!  There was a time I despised the holiday  because well it was so over rated and if you don't have a partner/spouse/companion then you are made more aware and rather you feel lonely on a daily basis or pretty content in your situation this day will always provoke loneliness.  I do enjoy the holiday now that I have someone special.  We will be celebrating our 9th Valentine's day together... that amazes me! Time flies when your having fun I reckon... but it sure doesn't feel like we should be working on our 9th year together.

Now its time to get busy though.... this house has been neglected for 2 weeks or more and its not cleaning itself as much as I have wiggled my nose or nodded my head (bewitched or I dream of Jenny) nothing works!!!  I'm going in (whose got my back?).

Thursday, February 10, 2011

My man can

Do you remember when Thomas gave me a perm? I shocked ppl a few years ago when I told them that he did that for me and he did a GREAT job with it.  What does he do? He is a Computer Technician... but in reality he is a jack of all trades.  I tell him I want or need or ask him "will you?" and he does the best he can do accomplish anything that is placed in front of him! He rocks so hard the earth could shake.

He did an excellent job on the perm by the way... but over the years I have chopped the hair off more than a few times. I paid 65 bucks for a girl to put maybe 7 streaks of red in my hair a few weeks ago.. it was sad!  I was very disappointed in what I got for the money. I had tons of gray showing and decided I wanted to dye my hair again... SO I dyed it dark again as per the usual color for the last year or so, and got some red color to see if he could do what she did.  He streaked it, its even, its blended wonderfully, its not too much (as I wouldn't want to have issues at work for "wild" hair) but its enough to make me feel like something new and cool was done... and it cost 15 dollars!  I love my man! He snapped at me a few times, but it was because he was nervous he was going to screw it up, it was his first time with the coloring... he did AWESOME!

On another note: He is loving going skating with me, he is such a good support for me.  He is researching skates and is building himself a custom pair of skates.  When I learn to skate, and know more of what I may need/want he will build me a pair!

Some other things he has done.  He made me a handmade dulcimer (you know what that is? google it haha).  He puts up a zillion Christmas lights and makes them animated to music, he built a touring canoe from scratch, He cooks (really yummy food), He makes the best mixed drinks and frozen coffee drinks, He fixes things around the house like an outlet that went out (I would have had to call an electrician for that, so I am glad he is so awesome).... you get the point? HE amazes me! And this is why I am super duper lucky he loves me!

He skated at the skate a thon the whole time, he probably did 150 or more laps himself.... he is learning how to go up on his toes while skating and doing the jam skating, I am proud of him for what he has learned already, and jealous too lol.  Just makes me want to reach my goals that much more!

Valentine's is coming up too.... will I ever be able to give him enough, to show him enough, to amount to as much as he has already given, shown and done for me?  I sure hope so.

At it again

I skated in the skate a thon and didn't even count laps... If I had my guess I would say I did maybe 40-50 with stops every 5-10 laps... how pathetic is that!  My endurance sucks, but no its not THAT bad! I promise!  The ass hurts but no its not THAT bad!  I could stand to lose 50 lbs but no its not THAT bad! The reason I sucketh simply skating.... get this... a tiny little thing called a peroneus brevis muscle.  I have been reading on this, and talked to the "skate dude" (the guy that is always super nice to me at Skate Castle, who knows alot about speed skating and well skating in general), to ask what the heck I may be doing?  The muscle tightens and hurts so much out of the blue and its on my stronger leg and when it gets tight I can barely get it to release no matter if I stretch it or not.  He watched me skate and said its the "sticky" skate I do and how I skate the majority of the time with my right leg, that muscle is fatigued more than likely because of how I skate.  1. I can learn how to skate correctly to even out the muscles I use and actually lift my right leg off the floor (haha that sounds too easy right?) 2. I can do calf raises by placing toes on a step or up higher and lowering and lifting my heels to stretch out those muscles 3.  Don't sit down when it hurts, stretch and keep going it will get better.

Early today I got one of those clicker thingies to help me count laps, I thought it might encourage me to know how many I did this time vs next time and help me push for a better goal so maybe I will sit less... ya know sometimes that helps.

Well I tried the don't sit down that the "skate dude" suggested and skated 75 laps tonight! I will give Gina credit too, she told me on Tuesday, don't sit down just keep skating (but again that is so hard to do when you are hurting, and its your only strong skate leg that is hurting and your ass broke and you don't wanna fall on it)  I will say that I had to push to finish that many laps... It wasn't that many (I know!) but I had to work for it, so therefor I will be proud of it, simply because I am the only one who actually knows how I felt and how hard I had to push to complete those laps.  I know people see me sitting (often) and probably think I may not be cut out for this sport.  I really was athletic at one time, I kayak, I cycle, I can push myself and I can do things.  But I am basically starting from scratch with this sport, never skating and all....I am out of shape and over weight which all snuck up on me and have pretty much been a couch potato for a few years.  So I have decided, I will forget about what others may think.. (lol again easier said than done) and focus on the fact that I have a goal that I CAN REACH, and work at it.

On another note: I got home from skating, feeling rough, ass is stiff (that sounds weird) but ya know kinda moving a bit slower than before I actually went skating, tired from going so much over the last two weeks.. (wow has it only been 2 weeks since I broke my ass, for some reason it feels like its been a month already!), I got home to find messages that the scrimmage has been canceled for tomorrow, the scrimmage that I was afraid would keep me from skating (but I was looking forward!), which was the reason Christina and I had discussed skating tonight to get some practice... that scrimmage was canceled. Tomorrow night I get to have a non-skate work out! That sound exciting right now as I sit in my chair...I might be able to do this if they keep it off the floor, really get a good work out and not sit out and such. Oh wait! They said to bring a mat... that sounds like there will be floor exercises, all I can say is my poor poor ass.  I will do what I can do.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I am going to fall!

I was so proud of my healing time on the broke ass... Today I said to myself "Self? this ole ass is going to be just fine real soon".  I actually believed it, until I skated today! ACK!!!!

No seriously today sitting and standing didn't give off the same pain it had been, I noticed I was getting up faster, wasn't taking it as easy as I had been and I was never in real bad pain, just minor discomfort.  I was thinking WOOT! Yep, this is going to be back to 100% before long.

Then, I go skating tonight.  I was excited to get out there, I skated some on Sunday.  I was timid on Sunday but didn't really "hurt" skating.  Tonight? My ass is sore again (slow moving now), I skated like it was my first time again (scared of everything!) I skated so bad I went back to my original style of "sticky" skating but with only one foot... you know not able to lift up the other foot off the ground at ALL.  UGHHH That made the stronger leg ache because it was working so hard.  

I was cramping and miserable for the most part.  Never broke a sweat, wasn't a workout and nothing was accomplished at all.  I did get to see my Derby wife Gina which was nice and she was encouraging me and trying to help me but I was pretty pathetic tonight.

I will be doing several exercises a day to work on my balance and leg strength.  I am not giving up.  I will get tougher, I will concur the fear that has been put in place by the broken ass.  I fell on it numerous times before I broke it and I know learning to do the things I need to I WILL FALL, its a FACT... the fear comes from WHAT IF I FALL ON MY ASS!!!  I know (mentally) to fall forward, but I am new and learning and one slip up on my skates and I land on my ass, that mental image is there the whole time I skate.   I skated 3 full weeks before doing the boot camp at 3 days a week, then the first day there hurt myself... so I only gave my all to this skating thing those three weeks.  I can't expect more out of myself or my muscles then my body can do.  I have to build up strength in the "skating muscles".  I have to build up endurance.  I have to improve overall, I will not be scrimmage eligible this year, I will accept that. But next year!!!! I will be there! That is the goal I am setting for myself.  Its realistic and definitely doable.  I will keep going to practice and the girls will push me, and mostly I will push myself and I will get there.

For now, I am just going to use my blog to whine and moan lol  I so wanna be a bad ass!!! 

Tomorrow is the skate a thon... come out and join in some fun! :) I hope to be skating better than I did tonight lol

On a funny note. We were thinking of derby names.... Thomas said "I know what your name could be.... Broke Ass Mountain" however THAT IS NOT MY NAME!  I have more important things to do besides claiming a name like learning to skate! I almost was going to go ahead and claim a name, but then after tonight would be too damn embarrassed to have a derby name and skate the way I was... give it time! :)

Monday, February 7, 2011

SKATE-A-THON

If you happen by my site, PLEASE stop in and donate (here is my chip in)

If you have read my blog you know that I have been trying to be a bad ass!  I have completed (partially) the boot camp that the Dixie Derby Girls put on, and now am trying to earn my wings as a team member! I have tons to learn before I will be scrimmage eligible but I will get there! :) Until then I am doing my part and trying to raise money for the Skate-A-Thon.  Please take a moment to donate!!! ($1, $2, $5, $10, $20 or more I WILL TAKE ANYTHING!!!) Half of the proceeds go to benefit the American Heart Association and is Tax deductible!  The other half goes to help Dixie Derby Girls! So they are both awesome reasons to donate some money!


We also encourage you to come out and skate with us on Wed. Night (only two days away!).  Its Feb 9th at 5:30-8pm, at Roller Time.  We will have food and tons of fun! You can skate with us! The cost at the door is $10 plus skate rental fees. 

(click the image to visit the website)

Thank you all for your support and donations!  Its greatly appreciated!


Saturday, February 5, 2011

Skate-a-thon

I took some posters to some local business here in Decatur.  I hit (Zero Gravity,  Skate Castle, Rue 21, Doughnuts, Party Central, The comic shop, Glasses bar and grill, Our place bar and grill, Wiley's sporting goods and Gloria's good health). They all let me put a poster up or a flyer up.  Soooo I tried to get some word out here in Decatur. 

This is a super fun event for a super good cause so if you happen by this site and I am excited to be able to go!

I am planning on skating tomorrow, at Skate Castle.  I will still not be able to do falls, or special things, but since I have to work on cross overs anyway, a regular skate in a regular session will be just fine for me.  I will be sporting my butt pads, to try to assure myself its ok... I MUST practice the derby stance and not falling on my ASS!

I do plan to skate at the skate-a-thon.  So that gives me two sessions, and more than likely will go Tuesday night (3 sessions).... to get back use to my skates. I will practice with the girls on Friday and not push myself too much by doing only the drills that I know I can do without harming my po ass. lol   It has improved, but still very tender while rising and sitting.... but other than that, unless I am startled and tense up the butt for some reason lol it doesn't bother me too bad.  I know the falls will be painful, some of the stops will be but regular skating I feel I will be ok.... we shall see!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Finally Friday

It has been a super long week.  Could be because I am in super slow motion. 

I do see the light at the end  though, I had about a 2 hour span yesterday where I sat and got back up without that stabbing pain... I had 800 mg ibuprofen and was sitting on a donut, lol but I did get up and down about 12 times in that two hours without once little bit of pain.  So that tells me it may be healing! It may even heal quick if I keep sitting on the donut as much as I HATE it and if I keep taking Ibuprofen for inflammation. 

I have printed out the rules and hand signals for derby, and will be studying, doing what exercises I can manage, and patiently waiting getting back out there with the girls. 

On other news:  Beware of teens.  I love my children but can not believe the drastic change in them.  My sweet daughter, who is always trustworthy and dependable and well just awesome, decided she would stay up texting wayyyyyyyy past her bedtime and has been doing it for wayyyyyyyy long, and she has also been texting during school, which is a big no no.  So she doesn't have her phone right now as a result, why is it that this bothers me?  I am such a push over sometimes it bothers me because she cried.  I really need to be more of a tough love giver than just a mushy "oh baby I am sorry" type person.   She did it to herself! She knew the rules and she broke them!  My son has been in trouble for weeks.  Bad attitude one minute and sweet a pie the next... its Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde every day!  He mouthed off to Thomas and didn't stop so he got grounded from going to his dads this weekend and I took his IPOD away from him (His response is, "you can't take it you didn't buy it", no his dad bought it and I despise the thing.... but yes I can take anything that is my home away as I am in control.  He proceeded with "Your a thief", what the world has happened to my kiddos?).  I wonder if it is because I have been gone more recently (with boot camp and practice), but that isn't the case they could honestly at their age care less if I am gone because when I am home they rather be in the bedroom most of the time.  They had attitudes before the whole skating bit, I think its just the timing in everything from their hormones, my ass, their school work, my work, their punishment, my chores we are all just freaking off our rocker!  It is going to get better, I do need to quit feeling sorry for them as I beat myself up for punishing them, and its always always always been a big problem of mine.  I guess most mothers are this way because you want to give your children everything and you want them to be happy and you never want to cause them pain..... and knowing you could give them back the phone and that would make them happy, is a battle that I put myself through.  I think they know this so they play on it harder for that reason.  I am handling things a little more tough love this year (I know its only February lol).  I don't feel as guilty as I have in the past because I am seeing them more blatantly disobeying my rules and purposely finding themselves in trouble.  My kids are great though! I hate to sound like they are EVIL lol.  My daughter is an honor student in the PRE-DB program for the IB program and makes grades like 100's as averages in Calculus and Trig, Science, and can basically speak Spanish fluently. She has a voice of an angel and loves to sing.  She has true talent in her music.  My son is an honor student he doesn't put forth as much effort with his grades as his sister but he manages A's and B's in every subject, he isn't as focused on education, but he is very intelligent.  He is athletic as in he has the awesome build for sports and loves them, but he doesn't seem to really work at any one sport, this year he says he is going to play football which is a new one for him so maybe he does better with it.  He is handsome, sweet (when he isn't being mean lol) and I just love him so much!!!!  So even though I am all like about to pull my damn hair out over them, I do know how amazingly blessed I am to have such awesome children.   I guess if I practice being stricter on things like chores, phones, attitudes and such with them they will quit seeing me as a push over and realize if they want to have things or do things they have to earn them.  ACK! Parenting sucks for the most part, but the unconditional love you have for the bratz is enough to make it worthwhile I suppose lol.  I am appreciative of Thomas' roll with the kids the last week.  He has stepped up to keep Desmond from being so dis respective to me and he actually was the one who heard Destiny texting way late and asked me  about it and looked into the phone bill and such, he is an awesome dad.  We have totally different views and parenting styles but I will say he does know more than I give him credit for when it comes to the kids.  I sure hope together we can get a handle on some things with them.

Wow, long boring post this morning... I got up at 4 am, had clinic in Madison already seen two patients, made it back to the office, had breakfast and now sit and wait until 8:30 when I have to open the store... figured I would post to the blog, as time is a valuable thing and I actually had about an hour to do absolutely nothing! :)

I look forward to practice tonight, even though I wont be sporting my skates (YET!).  I think tonight, I will start by doing some exercises while I am there not doing anything, then some stretches, then see if anyone needs help with anything (as I have a few things to discuss about my jobs with ppl), and spend the rest of practice reading the rules.  I do want to listen and watch the fresh meat do their work out as to learn what I need to be doing so as maybe I wont start that far behind them when the bottom heals.  I like getting a break from my responsibilities, getting to let loose and hang with some pretty awesome gals, getting to work out and relieve stress and having some ME time! :) Derby so rocks! 

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Mr. Right

I know many women look for Mr. Right and some never seek him out.  I was never really looking for Mr. Right, but have been one of the luckiest women when it comes to finding the PERFECT man.

Is there such a thing as perfect? NO! lol but you get the point, he is amazing!!!!!!!

He took off work yesterday and babied me because of my sore butt... lol he encourages me to do anything that I want to do and will support me in anything that I want to do.  He looks at me out of the blue and says "You are so beautiful".  He makes me mixed CD's just because.... speaking of I came home on Monday night and he handed me a beautiful CD full of some awesome music!   He cooks for me, makes me drinks, rubs my feet and loves me just as I am (flaws and all).  We have had 8 wonderful years together, and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with him.

I had some failed attempts at relationships and had actually thought, there is no use, why bother with a relationship they never work out for me anyway and was ready to settle in, be a mother to my kids and take care of us.  All this mind set in place, and in walked my Mr. Right when I wasn't even looking for him. 

I have felt so shitty over my stupid little injury that I was down on myself and about to give up on some of my goals..... but he never fails to encourage me and assure me that its not actually my fault I am injured, "shit happens" and this will get better and I can still do whatever I want to do!    It is awesome to have someone love and care for you, a best friend through thick and then and a #1 fan by yourside no matter what you do in life.  

Ok... enough mush... lol everyone who knows me knows he spoils me rotten and I love him! :)

Broken

Well the doctor did some xrays, and poked on my poor sore ass... to come to the conclusion that I have indeed broken it.  I broke the tip off of it and it is curved under slightly.  Not so bad to require surgery (thankfully) but enough to cause me pain.  She suggested no skating until the tail heals, and honestly with the pain not improving it may be wise to just stay off the skates and let this thing heal.  I am unsteady as I have to improve my balance and need stronger leg muscles anyway, so I am at risk (just being a beginner skater) at falling again.  The Derby girls have trained me to fall forward, I know how to do this now, and I know derby stance will help me from falling backwards..... I just need stronger muscles to be able to stay in that stance for long periods.  (The sad thing is I fell while standing still, lol, just lost my balance and flat on my ass I went). 

My goals as of now.  Let time heal my ass.  Until then I do plan on paying my dues for practicing with the derby girls, and showing up to practice as I am dedicated to meeting the goals I have had set for myself.  I will help them with anything they would like me to do and wait on my tail to heal.  I will try to get in better shape along the way, work on balance exercises and trying to build up my muscles for skating better and as soon as I am able I will hit the floor again. When the tail heals I will skate with Thomas and the kiddos on Tues, Thurs and Sun then the Derby girls on Wed. Fri. and Sun.  so that gives me 5 days a week to work toward being better than I was before this set back.

I want to be a derby girl, I want to be a bad ass.... Hell I want to be a "good" skater....and I am not giving up on those goals just because of a stupid injury.  I have battled this one honestly, I was like "Maybe derby isn't for me?", "Maybe I should just call it quits?"... but then thought no... this stupid mistake could have happened doing anything, and the pain is not horrible... just enough to keep me from doing exactly what I want to do which makes me angry!  I think I am cut out for derby, and I can reach the goals I have set for myself. It will take me longer than I had intended now, but everyone has set backs sometimes, its how we handle them that matters the most. 

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Pain in the ass

Literally!

It has been 6 days since I fell on my ass at day one of boot camp.  My ass is more painful today then it has been since I did it. I have iced it, taken mucho ibuprofen and yet the pain is worse.  I must be doing something wrong?  I know somethings have to get worse before they get better, but I have to work!  I went yesterday and it was hard as hell to sit in my chair, get up to assist the patients, sit again and get up again.  The ibuprofen did nothing for the discomfort.  I have broken my tailbone before and this feels much like that, but actually worse.  It feels like something is ripping sometimes and burns after that feeling (this occurs while rising from a sitting position mostly or while repositioning in a sitted position).  I am home from work today because I just couldn't get out of the damn bed this morning.

I am going to see a doctor today to ease my mind that there is nothing else going on with the tailbone and let them tell me it will get better in time and maybe if I am lucky they will give me the bomb of pain killers and that will allow me to function regularly.