Thursday, January 20, 2011

The class clown

Tell me how my son being the class clown somehow is MY FAULT!   I mean I didn't teach him to be a clown, I don't encourage him to act up in school...... but because I punish him he "hates" me!

The punishment may seem extreme, but he has already had a teacher call before, a day in ISS, and now another teacher call.  For his day in ISS he was grounded for two weeks from gaming systems, television, IPODs and anything remotely entertaining.  I thought this would work, since he took his punishment better than I expected so patiently awaiting the day he would be free again.  I thought for sure he wouldn't do this mess again, and he would straighten up!

I shouldn't waste time thinking... as I am usually wrong!

So after he called me today (because the wise teacher had him call to tell me he was misbehaving in her class).... wanna know what he was doing? Making farting noises of all things.  UGH!

The punishment is heavy for him because well so far nothing is working.
Tonight is family skate night.  We all usually go skating.  I leave the kiddos home alone one night a week while we go on our date night, but rarely do it more than once a week.  I could leave him home tonight and just let him miss out on skating but, that seems a bit mean because he hates to be alone at night and I was already gone on Tuesday night (he wasn't alone then his sister was home).  So my punishment consist of:
1. Go skating tonight and sit in the food concession area.
2. While sitting at the rink tonight, write a letter to your teacher apologizing for misbehaving in her class room, and explain how you feel about what you did, what your consequences for doing so are and how you will not do it again.
3. Begin reading a book (read an extra 1 hr a day) beginning tonight at the skating rink.  Most say don't use reading as a punishment,  but he hates that he has to read just 30 mins a night at bedtime, so it is hitting him where it hurts!
4. Write a page essay about what he reads every night. 
5. No gaming consoles of any type.

The punishment begins tonight obviously and last for two weeks. Do you know what got him the most? The having to write letter and read while sitting at the rink.  He wants to just stay home alone (all the sudden, he isn't scared to do this anymore?) to avoid the embarrassment. Well his "friends" don't go skating on family night so he more than likely will not be humiliated by his classmates, but he can use this frustration he is feeling for his punishment to remind him BEFORE ACTING UP...... NOT TO!

I explain I am sorry but so far nothing I have done is working and he has to learn he can't misbehave.  He did this to himself.  He responds with "You enjoy doing this to me, you don't love me, you show favoritism between me and Destiny, you hate me  you don't love me" and the worst part was "I hate you, I don't want to go anywhere with you, I absolutely hate you!". 

I know teenage years suck, and I remember giving my own mother pure hell at times.  But I can't remember telling her that I hate her.  My son uses this with me often.  I am beginning to believe it. My heart is breaking.  He tells me he wants to live with his dad, but then changes his mind, he gets in trouble and blames it on me.  He said "You punish me like I got CASE or something".  Case is worse then ISS (in school suspension).  Ummm no! I am pretty sure you would be shedding many more tears right now had you got in more serious trouble at school. I mean all they did was make you call me.  So I don't do anything to you or punish you in anyway, then you did what you did and had no consequences for it.  I strongly discourage bad behavior and have always punished things to ensure that they don't happen again!   This is a lesson that needs to be learned now.  He is in 6th grade now.  Two more years in middle school, then high school and if its not nipped in the bud now... when will he learn the importance of timing, rules, respect.

So for now tonight, is blah. I was looking forward to skating... trying to do the cross over tonight.  I was feeling that I might be able to do the Dixie Derby Boot camp and may even try out for the team eventually, but now worry about it all simply because my child hates me and maybe I should be focusing more on that.

I ask my daughter and she doesn't hate me.  She disagrees with me often, but never says she hates me.  She even says "I don't know why he is so mean sometimes".

I know I am probably off and wrong about many things, but I love these "bratz" with all of my being, and it kills me to feel like I let them down.  I do know I didn't do this to him.  Two weeks of extra reading and essays will not kill him. Writing a letter to the teacher will not kill him and doing without a game console will not kill him.  I am only trying to get him to behave!

Oh well, time to skate for now. Wish me luck

2 comments:

  1. Hang in there. Teens all think its the end of the world and say things like that, he doesn't mean it!

    We'd love to see you at Bootcamp! Derby is so much more than just the skating and I think you'd really love it!

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  2. Wow I should really check the comments on my blog! :) I didn't know anyone was reading it haha I did day one and will be there tonight too! :)

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