Saturday, December 31, 2011

Scaling it down

OH MY GOSH!!! Are you sitting down?  I have been needing a scale for about a month now.  I last weighed on my scale 188lbs.  This was back the end of November, and the battery was getting weak and the scale was looking ratty from use so on  a cleaning day I just threw it away.  Said I was going to buy a new one.  Well this month I have ate different at work, walked the dog more and tried to pay a bit more attention to my snacking.  Now, I have not dieted really.  I have not done without.  I have simply tried to do a bit better.

I bought my scale today, my first step on it amazed me.  I weighed 177 lbs.  That is 11 lbs.  Now my other scale could have had me off, but I do feel like I have lost this weight, so I am going to consider this progress.  I honestly do not care what I weigh,  I just want to get in better physical fitness.  I want to get up off my chair more.  But, this my friend was a happy time for me to see the scales today has reminded me that I can do this.  It might not happen in a month or 2 months or even 6 months, but I will get in better health which ultimately will have me lose the pounds, the inches and gain the strength.  Tonight I simply feel stronger. :)

NOTE: I also want to make note that I weighed myself at 9 pm after a HUGE meal and a glass of wine and a margarita haha...tomorrow may be even more amazing! :)

New Years Eve

Well, it's that time of year again.  Time to make resolutions for the next year.  I suck at keeping resolutions for the most part, but I am hopeful this year will be unlike others.  I am looking forward to the changes that may come with my new resolutions to make 2012 an amazing year!

Here goes:
1) Wake up at 5:45 am on my non-clinic days.  I have clinic days that I wake up at 4 am all other days I sleep until the very last possible minute which is usually 7 am.  If I get up at 5:45 am, I should be able to make it to the bathroom to brush my teeth, wash my face and get on some exercise clothes.  Then grab my dog and take him for a mile walk to let him re-leave himself, and get my body woke up and warmed up.  I should be able to do all of these in 25 minutes or less, then bring my dog back home to continue back out for another mile at my own pace which should be a bit faster than my little Yorkie's pace (should be).  As I get in a better fitness level I can try to go further in my time but only allow myself another 30 minutes of exercise.  Then, its back home to shower and get ready for work.  I need to make breakfast if I am making it at home (but most of the time I eat breakfast at work).... and get out of the house at 7:30 am.  That has me up 1 hr and 45 minutes before I actually have to leave the house.  I hear that it takes about 21 days to make something a habit... so lets see if I can't make this a priority of mine and as Nike says "JUST DO IT".  I already dread the clock going off though, so this will be a big accomplishment for me if I stick with it.  This will also help me meet some fitness goals ensuring that I am getting exercise in.  The only times I will cut myself some slack is when it is raining in which times I may do my exercises inside, but I still need to get the hell up and out of bed.  My clinic days however will be non-exercise mornings, so I must fit it in when I get home from work, and weekends I can fit it in anytime during those days.... so that damn clock will not be going off then! lol

2)  Certifications:  I hope to get one if not two certifications this year.  Windows 7 and Security +.  That is the only goals I am setting just to accomplish these two things this year.

3) 5K:  I have yet to do a 5K and I want to get in shape and sign up for one.

4) Food: Watch my portion control, drink less soda, and try to think before I eat.

5) Cussing:  Stop with the F Bombs and possible some other cussing I do mindlessly.

Maybe the number 5 is good?  Makes since to have one or two lol but I need to do all 5 of these!!!!

Last year has been an amazing year full of ups and downs.  2012 is going to be even better.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

What to do?

I have so much I want to do.  Like....
1) Get physically fit and healthy
2) Eat better (which is part of #1)
3) Study to pass Windows 7 Certification (step one in becoming an IT specialist, The IT crowd got to me haha)
4) Have a clean home (haha, this is a joke!)
5) Read more (for enjoyment)
6) Spend more quality time with my man
7) Spend more quality time with my kiddos

The problem is... THERE IS NO TIME TO DO THESE THINGS!!! I have been trying to figure out a plan/schedule so to speak to fit it all in, but nothing seems to work.

Here are my possible solutions:
1)  I think I need a job closer to home, that will add 1 hour to my day (you know the hour I spend on the road to and from work).
2) Get up an hour earlier in the morning for exercise.
3) Schedule 1 hour a night for studying
4) Read over the weekend
5) Have everyone in family clean for 30 mins every night and 1 hour on weekends
6) Make a menu plan and stick with it
7) Go to bed at 9 pm every night with my man.
8) Schedule fun time for the kiddos

lol these might work... but it all seems like so much work!!!!!!!!! Geesh, after working all day the last thing I want to do is work some more.  I need an assistant haha.

Oh well, back to studying. Which is what I have dedicated this hour too (and I am merely taking a break since my mind was wandering on other things I need/should be doing and I thought it might be a good time to write down those thoughts and move past them)... only 35 more minutes of studying.

Ham Dumplings

I have one word... YUM!

That is how to describe the Ham dumplings that Thomas made for us for dinner.  He used the left over Ham from our Christmas dinner.  We have tried to figure out ways to use the ham as to not have it go to waste, and give us a variety to eat.

He said something about Ham dumplings and I was like "ewww" and he said "you have never had ham dumplings?" I said "ewww".  He said "I have to make you some".  So he did.

In the pan


In my bowl.


And these darn Ham dumplings KICK ASS!!!! 

Now, while making those he decided to he would make my lunch for the following day.  He baked me a potato, then put that potato and ham in a pan along with some other "secret" ingredients and came up with "Baked Potato Ham Soup"... I devoured it today at lunch... it was absolutely delicious!  I know you are jealous.... eat your heart out! :) haha

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Movies I have watched recently

I watched Water for Elephants with Thomas and Desmond and parts of it made me cry. I did doze (which I do often) for a few minutes in one part which to me means it got a bit slow.  But, overall the movie was very entertaining and held my attention.  I do recommend watching it and would love to read the book.

I watched Larry Crowne with Thomas and I really loved it!  It is one of my favorite movies now.  We got it from Redbox but now I will have to own it because it is one I will have to watch over and over again.  I highly recommend as an easy to watch film.  I like this kind of movie and I am a huge Tom Hanks fan.
Mr. Hobb's takes a Vacation. If you know me, you know that I ♥ Jimmy Stewart and view him as one of the very best Actors of all time!!!! I had never seen this movie until the other night when I watched it with Thomas and Desmond.  It was hilarious! It was everything I thought it would be.  This is a must see. :)

Monday, December 26, 2011

Keurig

Thomas and I pooled our gift cards and Christmas money for a Keurig.  We also got the little caddy and two coffee mugs.

Here is another photo.  I love this thing!  I have already had a Mocha and Some fresh brewed southern sweet tea.
The only problem is the cups.  We paid $29.99 for these darn things and they leak.  I am a bit upset about them, guess that is another problem for another day to try to fix, not sure if they will take them back or not... but don't buy these cups!

90 Kohl's bucks

I shopped last minute this year for Christmas.  I mean I literally bought my first present 1 week to the day before Christmas.  I then proceeded to not purchase the rest of my gifts until Wednesday night before Christmas when Thomas and I hit Kohl's in Huntsville.  I hadn't been to that store but once and it was years ago.  I lucked up and found everyone besides the kids gifts there.  I spend $550 bucks there in just a few hours.  Which earned me 90 Kohl's bucks.  Now I can go this week and spend $90 dollars on myself!  I think that is pretty neat, not sure what I will get because I never was really looking for myself in that store.  But, I am sure I will spent my 90 dollars, that is one thing I am most definitely sure of.  Maybe a new pair of boots? Maybe Thomas a Columbia jacket?  The possibilities are endless at this point. haha

I am going to the hit some other stores too. My son has a gift card to Best Buy we will probably stop there.  I need to go somewhere for some warm walking clothes, and need to buy me a new scale too.  Not sure where or when... since everyone in this house besides myself is still asleep at 10:17 am, ughhh!

F bombs

I drop them daily, probably more than many sailors would.  Not sure how this habit started but that is what it is, I cuss horribly.  I mean I say shit, damn and hell all the time too, but those are less offensive than GD and F bombs.  All of these words have become just a part of my vocabulary for some reason.  I remember a time when I didn't cuss much... but that was like forever ago.  I would like to say the F bomb's came only when I was really emotional about something, like I really needed to express that emotion.  But, no... they come just when I say "I am going to go wash the F'ing laundry" or "what the "F" is this on the TV?"  I have even went so far as to say "You are the cutest F'ing dog in the world"...I mean come on, why did that require that word?  I am not offended myself by the word, only know that I offend others with it.  I cuss, its rather unfortunate because I don't know that it is a very attractive feature in a lady.  Who said I was a lady right? But, my New Year's Resolution is to slack on my cussing.  I mean I could give it a break from time to time and maybe fit some other words into my vocabulary?  I tell my kids all the time who have heard my potty mouth since they were too young to know it was wrong  that they don't ever want to say those words because once its in your vocabulary you use it, and before long you use it without even recognizing it until after its slipped out.  So far they don't cuss, or not around me at least.  I didn't cuss around my parents either when I was young... it just came out with age and here I am a 36 year old potty mouth.  The GD doesn't come out much because although I am not religious I have never liked to say that one, its very offensive to many and makes me feel like a moron when I say it, but it comes out when I least expect it, but those are usually always in the heat of a moment that I am really expression some sort of emotion and usually anger.

Do you have moments where you say cuss words before you realize it?  

I mean my mother-in-law to be doesn't like the word Fart.  Says its a cuss word.  Fart is nothing to me... It's a joke more than a cuss word.  Some words are just words to me and Fart is just that, a word.  I remember my daddy get on to me for saying piss when I was talking about one of them "piss ants" that had just bitten me.  It's what I heard those ants were called that bit people.  Those were "piss ants" and I didn't see what the big deal was even though I was only 6 or 7 years old.  Still at 36, the word piss means nothing to me.  It's just a word.  Maybe I am unusual in those words not bothering me at all and not considered cuss words? I have never corrected my kids with those words, and not sure they ever even say them.  Do you have words that are offensive to you that others use frequently?

Regardless of what offends me or others I want to stop dropping the F bombs and GD without even meaning to say them, at least let me say them because that is the emotion I am really expressing and not just a habit potty mouth that I have obtained.

Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Christmas!

Well, I just got through celebrating an awesome Christmas with my family.  I am posting pictures from this past year here now.. and will update my blog soon with new layout, pages and such to try to keep up with my blog.  My new year's resolution is to blog more.  I use this as my journal... I write about anything and everything and really enjoyed getting my thoughts out here, and can use it as a timeline so to speak for my life, and I hate that I have ignored it so much over the years.... it's always been hit or miss.  I don't really have much of a "following" but I don't write this for fame or recognition, rather than just so notate events in my life and junk like that.... it's probably a boring blog compared to most I read, lol but it's mine.
There are crap ton of picture in this slide show, again, you may not want to view it but I will be able to view this as all the photos from 2011.   Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!

Now, to figure out how I want to do my blog!

Saturday, October 1, 2011

October and some randomness

If I had to pick my favorite month it would probably be October.  The cool breeze in the air, the leaves beginning to fall, the fall colors, the pumpkins, Halloween is coming, and college football is in full season.  Yes... October is an awesome month.

Now, I had big plans for this day that included lots of chores/organizing and cleaning around the house.  I have managed to avoid every single activity that I had planned. I have sat on my ass all day! Its been great!

Tomorrow I will clean my bedroom put up the summer stuff and get out the fall/winter clothing.  I have seen some awesome outfits I would like to try to make for simple prices that I seen on the website Pinterest.    I am going to try to come up with some money for a few nice outfits to wear this Fall.  I say that and I broke.. I mean broke!!!  I haven't been this broke in years actually.  I am all caught up with bills, thankfully... but broke!  Getting my kids in school this year hurt more than I intended.... I know to be better prepared next year.  Whew is all I can say!

Now.. on another note.  I have to have dental work done, so I think that may take place of any Fall outfits... blah! I was just dreaming.  In time though... I will get nice clothes!

I got a super bad perm a few months ago that has been driving me crazy! I have finally grew out the "stack" cut that I had though and I thought the perm would help me do that, which it did.. but it has damaged my hair horrible, and was too damn kinky curly.  Soooo I straightened last night.  I like it much better.  It is unhealthy as it was before I straightened even so now please take a moment to say a prayer for a quick recovery for my hair (A moment of silence for prayer here.... ).  Amen!

Now to get this dental work done, get the hair back healthy and lose about 20 lbs (I need to lose more but I am trying to be realistic here)....I will feel good and hopefully by this time be financially ready to buy some new clothes... that is the plan for now any way!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Alabama vs Arkansas

ROLL TIDE BABY!!!! We have been so blessed to make it to all three of the home games played this far....What a season so far!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Alabama vs North Texas

Yep we went to Tuscaloosa again! :) ROLL TIDE BABY


Friday, September 16, 2011

Teenagers

UGhhh what am I going to do with my children! I wish those aliens that abducted them when they became teenagers would come back to bring back MY CHILDREN!

My daughter doesn't want to help me do anything in the house without me spelling it out and MAKING her.  She can't keep her phone more than two weeks at a time because she doesn't know how to tell time.  I get attitude despite what all I do for her.

My son can't seem to focus on his school work, chores or anything for that matter.  His mind is always somewhere else.

UGHHHH

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Missing XBOX 360

It's the case of the missing XBOX 360.  Desmond has had his XBOX for a couple of years.  He used his birthday money to buy a new Football game and he ultimately LOVES his XBOX.

I received a call from him at about 3:20 pm one day (as soon as he got home from school) saying "Do you know where my Xbox is?"  I said "No, Did you do something for Thomas to take it away from you? He said "Not that I know of".  I said "I guess we will ask him about it and discuss it when I get home from work".

I got home and asked Thomas about it and he said "I haven't seen it and no I didn't take it".  Pure panic took over me at that moment.  Had someone been in the house?  Were we robbed?  OMG!

After tearing the house apart and looking for any other missing items it has been determined that NOTHING ELSE WAS TAKEN... and this person who "took" the XBOX broke in without any signs of a break in and walked all the way through the house past a PS3, Wii, Stereo system w/ speakers, Nikon D5000 camera with extra lenses, 2 Kindles, 2 laptops, got past 2 dogs without signs of struggle and walked all the way through to the back of the house to neatly unhook his XBOX and control and take it.  It happened to have his new Football game in it too.

I say this to say, I have no idea what or who happened to that XBOX but I am not buying another for Desmond. He has not actually been too heart broken over it as I know how it feels to be stolen from and it hurts bad no matter the item.  I hope he hasn't done something with it, and he is not being dishonest, but as of now it will simply be the case of the missing XBOX.

Friday, September 9, 2011

OH MY He is 13 already

My baby boy is 13.  I can not believe he is already a teenager.  Where did the time go?  He is 5'8.5" at least and weighs about 155 lbs and wears a size 10 shoe.  Yes he is a big boy! He is handsome, smart and I am super proud that he is MY son!

We didn't do much for his birthday this year because it came on a Friday. His sister was not home and I had to wait to get money on Friday to give him for his birthday.  So that meant I didn't have the funds for a cake or time to make one and didn't have time to shop for his birthday either.  He has a recently broken arm which has hindered what he wanted for his birthday which was a weight set.  I had no idea what to get him.  So I had decided I would take him to dinner, and give him money.  We could go buy his weight set or he could buy something else he might want.

Cathy decided she would bring over Whitt's BBQ for dinner. So we ate at the house. Thomas gave Desmond money, Cathy gave him money, my Daddy sent him money, and I gave him money.  We went out to buy him a cake later that evening but he said he really wanted a cookie cake.  I went to the mall but those bozo's said it was too late to get one from them, so we went to Academy sports, and other shoe stores and such for Desmond to shop for his birthday.  He wound up getting a game for his XBOX and saving the rest of his money for something else down the road.  He picked out a Roll Tide cookie cake (THAT'S My boy! ).

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Alabama Vs Kent State

Thomas got us tickets to see Alabama play... WOOT WOOT!!! I know!

Here are photos from this game, it was super fun!



Saturday, August 27, 2011

Family Fish Fry and Tarzan

Well my family had another fish fry... this may be annual thing now as we have had two in the past two years.  I love seeing my family and eating yummy food so its a great thing to be a part of.

We go to my Aunt Pat and Ron's house on the river and eat, talk, act a fool.  :)


The kids were swinging on a rope from a tree into the water, most the kiddos doing it were smaller than my child.  My child didn't bring swim clothes so he hadn't been participating in the activity, until he sweet talked my aunt Pat for swim trunks.  I was talking to my cousin Randy and making my way down to the swim hole to watch/video/photograph the event of my son (who is usually scared to do most things) when I realized he seemed to be in a hurry all the sudden to do this.  I think its because smaller kids are doing it and he is so much bigger he wants to do it in a hurry. I told my cousin Randy I better hurry before he hurts himself and just as those words left my mouth I looked and saw a wobbly kid on a rope fall off the rope right until a retaining wall.  My cousin Randy proceeded with "To late".  I ran down to assist my baby, he is hanging on to this wall.  He is brave and not crying or anything but doesn't want to move.  He said "My legs, momma my legs".  My fear is he has broken both legs.  He is on his knees in a very shallow water, with his arms hanging over the wall.  I take off my shoes (what? they were over $100), and I get into the water, I try to move him and we realize real quick one of his arms is injured as well.  I pick him up (all 150 lbs of him) by his butt with the aid of my Daddy, Randy and Thomas.  We get him to a chair to assess his injuries.  Definetly both legs are injuried and his arm is mangled up.  The legs don't seem to be broken because he can stand on them now they are scraped up and have huge indentions but they are probably ok.  We put ice on one leg and get ice for his arm... you can look at it and tell it is damaged, more than likely broken.  We leave the fish fry and head for the ER.  Yes his arm is broken.  Desmond has is first broken bone of his life time right before his 13th birthday.  It was and exciting day, and Desmond has received the nickname of Tarzan. Here is a slideshow of photos from this day.


Friday, August 19, 2011

Medical issues

I have three things going on with me medically that I really need to do something about and haven't for a long time.
1) I have a pretty good size knot on my head.  It is on the top right side of my head, it is small/round and hard as hell.  I did finally mention it to my brother (the Cardiologist) and he said he "wouldn't worry about it" while his wife (the Nurse Practitioner) said "You know he knows about the heart not the brain right?" haha.
Thomas has worried about it, I have worried about it, but it has been there probably 2 years now and I haven't had it checked out.

2) I have pretty significant shoulder pain. It has limited me this summer more than ever with the kayaking. The shoulder pain started about 4 years ago. It has gradually gotten worse and sometimes it is too painful to "fix" my hair so I just pull it up in a ponytail to keep from having to hold my arms up too long with the curling iron or straightener.  I even went and got a perm this year to make my hair extra curly so I might be able to moose it and go... and I HATE IT.  I beg for family to massage that one shoulder all the time and sometimes they do and it feels totally awesome like all the bad in the world is gone for that moment. I can't figure out what it is or where the pain is actually generalized to. That is weird I know. It is just an ache. Just a pain in my shoulder.... I try to "self diagnose" often.  I really should have it checked out before I have some major issue and have to require surgery or something I know.

3) I am obese.  There I said it. I have lost 5 lbs recently which is a start, but the fact that I need to lose close to 50 lbs says a lot about my health.  I have not been to see a physician about my health in over 5 years.  Sad but true.  I went to the doc in the box this year for my broken tailbone (because it was seriously injured and I didn't believe it was healing fast enough, because I wanted to be a bad ass derby girl, so I went to the doctor for that but want go for serious health issues? My priorities may be a bit confused).  I have not had a physical in over 5 years. I have avoided this because 1) I need a new doctor and don't know who I want to use. 2) I am obese and don't need them telling me this because DUH I already freaking know it! 3) I am borderline diabetic (another self diagnosis) I say this because I am obese and I feel as though I might claw someone's eyes out if I don't eat something sometimes.  Actually it feels as though I may vomit, I feel really sick, not hungry just sick and that feeling tells me I need food. I eat something (anything) and the feeling gets better. Now it might not be diabetes but I do know excessive weight and eating horrible (both of which I do) leads to Type II Diabetes and well... I avoid going to the doctor because I don't want to actually hear it.

Now it is pathetic that I am this way, I have worked in the Medical Field since 1998.... but I am only human.

I tell myself all the time to make time for myself.  Sadly the time I make for myself seems to be to sit and rest instead of do what I need to!


 

No work?

Thursday and Friday I have taken off to relax a bit and to rest up from that amazing concert.
I didn't do anything really on Thursday (yesterday).  Thomas and I got up and I messed around with concert photos, then we went to eat lunch at a place that I  had never ate, then we went to Walmart for Thomas some stuff for his guitar that he is building and to get some razors.  While I was there I got deodorant (you can thank me later), I got new mascara and I also got new hair color.  (I know you were all dieing to know what I got at Walmart haha).   I came home, colored my hair, and pretty much was lazy the rest of the evening... so was yesterday a good day? HELL YES! I didn't clean, I didn't even cook (Thomas made a roast w/ taters and carrots).  I like being lazy.  But sometimes I just want to go have some fun.

Since yesterday was my lazy day. Today will be productive. I have gotten up and taken Desmond to school, then paid my bills (I have like no money left after paying those bills... and you know going back to school has literally broke me) and I will be thankful I had the money to pay them (even though we may be eating Ramen Noodles until next payday).  I am going to put this computer down in like 5 minutes and get up to get the laundry going, dishes done, sweep and mop and straighten up the house.  I wanted to go to a winery or vineyard this weekend. Today I needed to do these things so I don't think I will fit it in, tomorrow? Maybe, who knows?  After I get the housework done, I am going to sit and be completely lazy again.  I am going to watch some movies we picked up from Redbox and chill.  Tonight? I am thinking of hitting the comedy hour at Flying Monkey... but it depends on my mood. I may just stay in and eat some salsa (that Thomas made) have some margaritas and continue my laziness.

There is a nice car show in Priceville tomorrow (Saturday) I might go there or.... I might plan a trip to a vineyard which is something for some reason I have always wanted to do but never have.  Sunday? It is my last day home... I have no freakin ideal of what I WANT to do, but I do know what I NEED to do and that is organize my bedroom/closet as it is all messy, but I don't wanna! I guess we will see how I feel then.  Monday I go back to work, at 4am... Joy Joy!


Thursday, August 18, 2011

Train and Maroon 5 Concert..... KICK ASS!!!

Here is a slideshow of some of the photos I have taken from that evening.  It was one of the best concerts I have ever been to! If you recall I  have been to Lady Gaga this year and her show... was so different so alive and so damn awesome that I  honestly thought it would never in all my years be topped.  I was wrong.  I loved her and her music and style is wayyyyy different so I am not really comparing them but this concert ROCKED MY SOCKS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I was blown away. 




So here is a recap:
Thomas and I got off work early and drove to Nashville. We arrived, find a restaurant on Broadway named Broadway Brewhouse.  The atmosphere was a great start to our evening. We left after having dinner and a beer to hit the Arena.  Got in, purchased a couple of Train T-shirts and made it to our seats.  The seats were awesome btw.    1st up was PJ Morton.  Not that I totally disliked him, but his music wasn't my taste, until he did a bit of Stevie Wonder and that was awesome.  I didn't know he actually played with Maroon 5? I know it was a surprise to me too.  I hate that I didn't get to see Gavin DeGraw because I was looking forward to him, but PJ Morton's performance was just fine. 

Then it was time for Maroon 5.  I knew I was excited but for some reason when I saw Adam Levine in person it was like more excitement then I expected.  I love his voice. I love his talent. I like how he moves and think he is hot.  All of that is the reason why I knew I would be excited, why I had been excited weeks leading up to the concert.  But, when I saw him.... it was more than excitement.  I am like wow, even speechless.  I never thought I would be here. I listen to this dude and sing with him (yeah in my car) all the time and here I am seeing him in concert.  The entire performance KICKED ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He sang "She Will Be Loved" and something about that song, that voice, that atmosphere, being there and having just watched a totally bad ass show that I cried. lol It is hilarious to me now, but I did, I cried.  I was THAT intoxicated on their music and the atmosphere!

Then the finale.  TRAIN.  OMFREAKINGOD How I love them! I have listened to them for years.  Every song, every album I know and love.  Now, I have to be dreaming.  It is simply too much!   The performance was amazing, Pat (he doesn't know me but I am going to call him by his first name because he just made me feel like we could be friends with his humbleness)... so as I was saying Pat, put on a cowboy hat and managed to turn "She's on Fire" into some sort of modern country song that wasn't half bad, I am thinking he did that because we were in Nashville... but I did get a kick out of it!  Then he proceeds to pull a bunch like a bunch of gals from the crowd of all ages (yes I secretly wanted to be up there, but I am old and fluffy and would never put up that much effort lol) and these girls/women are all part of "The Trainettes" and it was a cute little number he did with them.

Whew... I am not done yet!  He pulls a little U2 out of his ass from somewhere that was freaking AMAZING!  Then, he just calmly said "Ladies and Gentlemen, Martina McBride"..... OMFREAKINGOD AGAIN!!! You have got to be kidding me! I LOVE HER.  I don't listen to a lot of country  but her... I love! I sing her shit in karaoke (or try to... please don't tell her I torture her music)... I sing.. no scream..  and belt out her tunes ALL THE TIME.  She has a special CD in my car with her name on it that has an MP3 of probably ever song she has ever sang... like EVER!  I put that CD in when I am blah and just want to sing it out.  (yeah, I do that shit... shhhh its our secret).  They proceed  (they being Pat and Martina... love this first name stuff, haha) to sing their asses off on "Broken Wing".  What a delightful surprise that was!

Then it got all mushy with some "Team Allen" (go type that in facebook to read about their story) where a soldier and his family won a contest about the song Marry Me and got to tell their story and yes this had me sobbing, crying.  I forgot to mention that Martina being there and them singing together yeah I was crying then too (God I must really be a basket case).  Train continued to sing songs that I love and I continued to scream out the fact that hey I know this song, I love this song, here let me sing this song with you until my voice was hoarse.  I screamed "I LOVE YOU TRAIN!!!!" I screamed, just a big ol' hooping hollar so they could here my one little scream.  I SCREAMED, and I SCREAMED SOME MORE! It was AWESOME!  I laughed, I cried, I screamed, I sang... like I said it was a great night!  Then they said their goodbyes and left the stage. I knew they would come back, as that is tradition.... I looked at Thomas and said "They HAVE to come back they haven't done Drops of Jupiter".  He said "After all of that performance you are going to be upset because they don't do that song?".  I know I had to have given him a blank stare or something because then he said "don't worry they will be back".  So I immediately calmed back down and kept screaming my ass off for them to get their asses back on the stage to sing my damn song! Guess what? They must of heard me!  I do have one hell of a scream!  They came back and I got to hear my song... I belted it out with them (I have the video to prove it, and boy was I ever not on key during that whole song).  Destiny said "That is not you mom? Surely its not?", She just heard it when I played back the video a horrible sound drowning out the awesome music that Train was performing.  She said "you are normally in much better key than that" lol.  I said "I couldn't hear myself I was just letting everyone around me and the video I was recording know that I knew those words well and I was singing live with Train.  I sang with Train... maybe not on stage lol and maybe way off key... but in my head that was, is enough.  I am happy!

IT WAS AN AWESOME NIGHT! It was the best birthday present I can ever remember getting.  Thank you to my sexy man Thomas for loving me enough to think about me as much as you do!  Thank you for over looking how I was so obviously drooling over Adam Levine (even when I turned to you and said "He so freaking hot" and you just smiled because you knew I was happy).  I am a blessed lady with a man who truly loves me! :)  You rock my world harder then any song anyone could sing!

I will forever remember that night!

Saturday, August 13, 2011

My Tbone

You have put up with me for almost 9 years.  (Wow November is just around the corner)  You  have spoiled me rotten and loved me tons.  We rarely fight even though we often disagree.  Our chemistry is amazing.  You do your thing and I do mine but often it has us doing most things together.  You make me smile, you make me laugh. You hold me when I cry and ignore me when I am mad.   We have way more ups then we downs.  The children are almost grown, this is amazing. You have been there with me since Destiny was 8 years old and Desmond only 4.   I know we disagree over them more than anything else.   I am thankful for your efforts in helping them or helping me through all these years. I am a very lucky lady to have you and I don't want to take you for granted. You are so special to make time for me and dates with me.  Thank you for all you have done for me.
I look forward to many more years with you.  You are my knight in shinning armor.  I love you

My Junior

11th grade. Wow, I was just a bit older than you when I was giving birth to you.  It is amazing how fast time flies.  I am scared to death to watch you mature in to the young woman you are. I love you so much and I am so proud of you and your accomplishments.  I am scared because I don't trust others. I don't trust others out on the road that will be driving while you are. I don't trust boys who will play with your heart and try to break it. I don't trust some friends who may not be good influences on you and I just worry constantly at the time of your life you are in. One decision can change the rest of your life for good or for bad.  I wish you wisdom this year to stay on track of your goals, but I have faith in you and the person you are that you will do the right things.  Your smile is killer, I mean you can break hearts with it so be careful! You have been such a blessing to me and guided my life in the path that it has taken, you are my daughter, my Destiny.

I love your musical talent, your voice is heaven sent.  Your guitar playing is pretty amazing too, especially knowing how you have self taught yourself. I am proud for you that you made Chamber choir again I love how much you love music!

I am so happy that you have made the decision to stay with the IB program. This is your first year in actual IB courses and I know most of your friends dropped down to AP.  I feel you are making a wise decision to aid you in scholarships.  I believe you are super smart and can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

I know we argue over that darn cell phone often, and how you slack on the chores, and how your car isn't drivable yet... but you are a wonderful daughter that any mother would be honored to have and thankfully you are my girl.  I love you tons.




I hope your Junior year is everything you hope it to be and you accomplish all that you can.  I hope you have tons of laughs with friends.  I love you and I am super proud to be your mom.






My 7th Grader

Wow, time sure is flying by you are my baby and a 7th grader.  You are taller than me now, and are growing too darn fast!  I remember holding you as a baby and rocking you to sleep.  I miss those days so much when I could care for you and watch over you and know you were safe.  You are now such a big boy, actually a young man and I want you to know that I am super proud of you even though I ride you sometimes.  You are smart, thoughtful, and funny. You have a gorgeous smile and give great hugs.

I am proud that you are in advanced math and science and honors language. You make my heart smile.  I worry about you often, will you grow up to be a good man? Am I do everything I should be doing as your mother? I know I am not perfect and you get mad at me often.  Just know that everything I ride you for and all the things that I ask you to do are for your own good and I do them because I love you.  Wow, you turn 13 in less than a month, you are officially a teenager!!!! I am so proud of you!

I know you wanted to play football this year and that didn't work out.  I miss watching you play sports that you like, but I want you to play something that you really put your heart in and work at.  Hopefully you will find that soon.

You are going to have a very exciting new year at school.  You are not the new kid at the Middle School this year you know your way around.  I think you will enjoy this year and I hope you know that I am here for you always!
I love you, and feel so blessed that I have you as my son.  I am super proud to be your mom.  I hope your 7th grade year is everything you want it to be and your achieve every goal you set.

Hello, My name is Rodney

I had no home.  I was in a tiny little cage at the Decatur Animal Shelter and was hoping to get a new home.    My brothers, sisters and myself were all a part of an unwanted liter and my original owners gave us to the Animal Shelter in hopes to find us a home.

One day I found my new family... They came and took me to my new home.  I was very sick but they didn't know it.  They loved me, hugged me, played with me and fed me.  I was happy but getting sicker by the minute.  My new mom found a huge engorged tick in my ear on my very first night there and my new dad had to get it out while my mom held me down, it was so scary for all of us.  But, that was better quickly.  Then while I was sleeping my mom saw worms (round worm) coming from my rear end which freaked her out.  She didn't know much about puppies so she was worried sick over it.  She gave me some worm medicine and by the next day there were no visible signs of worms.  I had a cough, runny nose and was a bit lethargic.  They loved me so much but I kept feeling weak and sicker by the moment.  I hit my lowest point where I was not eating or even drinking fluids.  My mom took me to the doctor for medicine but nothing was helping me.  Then, her and my new sister was hand feeding me with a little syringe gatorade and kitten food until a few days went by and I started to perk up.  Turned out I had a pretty big size tapeworm that had finally died and left my poor little weak body.
Now, I am all better. I no longer cough (which was a pretty bad cough, where I would vomit after a spell), I eat everything in site and now my new family has to put me on a schedule just so I don't over eat.  My tummy is feeling much better. I know that I am loved by new family. My new brother and I play all the time.  I would also like to mention that he sure does have a lot of hair which makes it really easy to grab hold of him while we play hehe.
 I really like my new home and I am thankful that my family found me.  I am trying hard to be a 'good boy.  I like to talk to my family and I love to eat ice.  I still have issues with potty training but my mom tells me I am still young, even though I am 10 weeks old now.  She says she is going to be working with me until I learn where and when to go. I think she loves me and thinks I am special.

Just a reminder to all of you that I am sure there is a shelter near you that will have another dog as special as I am who needs some tender love and care.  Please take the time to donate supplies, your time or adopt a pet today! :)







Friday, August 12, 2011

Just my crazy thoughts

I have not had my skates on in so long that I can't even remember. I bought $400 skates.  I love my new skates that I have only skated on like 5 times ever.  I loved going skating and improving and exercising and enjoyed it alot.  I did however not like falling on my ass. The first time was understandable as I was so unsteady and I possibly should have waited until I was 100% before getting back out there but the second time I fell I even with butt pads was so horrible.  I still have tenderness in my tailbone region when I move a certain way or get up a certain way and the first fall I had taken was in Jan 2011.... I mean geesh!  I do feel that derby is not for me although I love the sport and watching those bad ass girls out there.  I feel I am either a wimp, or such a clutsy skater that I don't need to try to do anything other than skate around a circle haha. But! I can do that! I don't know why I haven't.  But basically I have taken off the whole summer.  I really never intended on quiting my goal of being a bad ass derby girl but my work schedule was really starting to hinder me making it to practice (being on call and having early mornings and such).  Plus, the tailbone placing a fear in me that I couldn't seem to shake.   I quit.  Just poof, worked hard to start something, get somewhere and just poof Quit! I hate feeling like a quitter. 

I seem to have let myself down lately.  My motivation to do something, have an accomplishment has left me.  My mood has been more on the negative side instead of the positive which is really not like my character at all.   I really need to evaluate my laziness and get busy.  I have such added stress with my job, the kids, the home, the dogs (yeah I know this shouldn't stress me but puppies are difficult especially if they are sick!), the bills... that it is super hard to tend to myself and my own goals and achievements.

Now to be positive. I have already at 35 years old accomplished so much!  I should pat myself on the back and hold my head up high despite my failures the last year and just admit that I am human and only one person.  I can only do so much.  But, I could do more than I do now because I know areas that I am slacking in.  Those slackers actually add more stress to my life.  The laundry isn't getting done because I am busy watching my favorite TV show.  The dog isn't getting potty trained because I am busy watching my favorite TV show.... I remember a time in my life when I didn't watch TV...... and now I am all about my TV shows.  I do enjoy them and see nothing wrong with them as long as I am fitting time in my life for myself, my goals and to help my stress level.  SOOOOOOOOO..... I can positively say that I can fix all the bad in my life, and that is a blessing to be able to say. There are those who suffer far more than I can even imagine and my life is just that, my life.  I hold the key to my success and happiness. :) 

I think I am going to go skating soon, I think I am going to read a book just for fun again, I think I am going to do some studying, I think I am going to walk my dogs more, I think I am going to get a better handle on my responsibilities as a mother, lover, pet owner and homeowner.... and I think that I do all of this by simply keeping my priorities in perspective. 

Happy Friday everyone!

Thursday, August 11, 2011

COUNTDOWN IS ON!!!!

OH MY GOSH YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE HOW EXCITED I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes, I had to put that in all caps! It is that much excitement!)
Next Wednesday.... which is 6 days from now... I will be at Bridgestone Arena in Nashville with the hottest man I know (Yes, that would be my Tbone).  We will be a witness to the most awesome concert.  I will have a seat in this arena.  A seat that was purchased by my Tbone for my 35th (ughhh I had to remind myself how old I was?) Birthday.  Are you sitting down?????  That seat in that Arena will be for none other than.....

YES!!!!  You read that right... Maroon 5 and Train in the same Arena on the same night... I will be in Music Heaven! :) 



Now you see why I was so excited! Jealous much?



What a Summer!

Summer in photos:



As you can see we had some fun this summer! :)  It has came and went too fast!  School starts on Monday (8/15/11) and I am the proud Mother of a 7th grader and a Junior... no matter how many times I say it is still unFREAKINbelievable. 
I think this has been one of the less eventful Summers but it was still enjoyable. I wish we could have made it to the beach but maybe next year... this year was just too hard to fit it all in financially.  I know I am looking forward to Fall, the cool crisp breeze in the air, Alabama Football, Halloween... Yes, ready I am.





Monday, August 8, 2011

Kids photos August 2011

I took the kiddos for photos the day before school started this year.  They sure are getting big.  Here are some of the pictures.

Monday, August 1, 2011

My bubba and his awesome family

My brother and his family came to visit.  We had an awesome little short visit at my house.  Then later met with family at Ryan's in Gardendale for a family dinner.  Their visits are always super quick, but very cherished! I hope to get to visit with them again soon.  Here are some photos from that visit.



Like I said, very short but very special! I love my brother and his girls.... :)

Friday, June 10, 2011

Date night!

Ahhhhh, how I love date nights with my man!  It is always anything I want to do, and usually everything we do is fun! :)

I said tonight I want to go to Chili's for my quesadilla explosion salad, if you have not had this, you simply must go have one! They are horrible for you  but so damn good!

I also decided that I want to go laugh, so I have picked The Hangover 2 as a movie to go see, if we make it to the movies.... if not we will go buy a comedy of some sort or something I might have been wanting to see on Blue Ray and come home and get comfy and watch it... for some reason the last option is sounded pretty good.  

Super excited, only one glitch in my excitement. I have to get up at 4 am in the morning for work! BLAH!!! Luckily its a short period of time to work and I will be back home, can nap and relax after that, so I am going to try to enjoy my night!

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Motivation

I have the motivation today! I feel accomplished. I got up and went for a 1 mile walk (with a slight 5 min jog).  I finished in 21 minutes and did some stretching.  I have drank 5 glasses of water already today, 3 more to go.  I met a good friend of mine (Leah) for lunch at Cracker Barrel and I ordered a grilled chicken salad, which was yummy!  I also remembered to take my vitamins.

My energy level was marvelous earlier, but the last hour or so I felt foggy headed and tired.  Like if I sat still long enough I would just fall asleep and sleep for a full 8 hours.  So now to find out what makes me feel that way so as to not hit my lazy slumps as this feeling happens often to me.

I am going to walk another mile this evening. That will make 2 miles today and its a good start. 

I definitely have to start small on my exercising.... my resting heart rate is 92 bpm.  A brisk walk has my heart rate between 168-172 bpm, an all out jog had me at 198 bpm.    This my friends is proof of being way out of shape.  Baby steps!  If I start now, then I should be able to start seeing my resting heart rate decrease along with  my poundage. :)  I weigh more now than I have ever in my life!!!! EVER! I weighed in at 192 lbs on 5/31/2011 and today it was 189 lbs.  So this week I have went down 3 lbs watching what I eat a little and throwing in some exercise! My weight loss goal is to reach 170 lbs (baby steps) That is 19 lbs. I should be able to reach that goal by the end of this summer.  Then, I will set myself another goal for Fall. 

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Jack of all...

For some reason I find myself wanting to do it all!!! Someone, anyone please help me fit in all the things that I enjoy and want to do in life an make it all simple.... any takers?

Here are few things that I think of doing often (in no particular order)
1) Skating and being a bad ass Derby girl
2) Learning to play the dulcimer (bad ass style)
3) Learning to play the mandolin (anyway, as long as it is music haha)
4) Making things, being creative in an artistic way
5) Reading... I have at least 4 books right now that I have been WANTING to read... but can't seem to find time to really want to read, if that makes any sense.  I mean I do enjoy reading when the house is clean and everything I have is all caught up and I can sit and relax in peace and quite... oh yes I love to read, but its so hard to find "THAT" time.
6) Hiking.
7) Kayaking
8) Cycling
9) Running (I have my eyes set on a 5K in August that is I worked really hard on I might could get in shape/train enough to do it by then.... I told myself I would start practicing (Running/jogging/walking) this week, I managed to go one day... blah).
10) Writing

Now that is a simple list of 10 items that I want to do.  For some reason I can't just have one thing and I think that all my wants make it hard for me to get really good at any one thing... ughhhh. I mean have a pair of bad ass roller derby skates that I paid ohhh 400 bucks for, then I have an awesome dulcimer that Thomas built me, and a mandolin that I got a steal on.... then I a rode bike, a mountain bike, an awesome kayak, a kick ass kindle for reading and anything I could possibly need to do all the things that I want to do...I just am not doing them enough to get good at them. 

One day at a time.  Maybe I should schedule myself to do somethings on a regular basis and make it happen! :)

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Too damn much



Its amazing how much it will cost to repair this

4/27/2011- Tornados of fury

That date (4/27/2011) will forever be a date of remembrance for the state of Alabama as well as most of the South East United States.  There were record numbers of tornadoes that touched down all across our state, damaging, killing, twisting, turning.... the sites and stories are straight from a movie, unreal and heart breaking!  As a result of the storm, most of the state was left without power.  We were without power for 4 days.  We were blessed far more than many others.  My heart still aches for those who have and continue to suffer from this devastation.  I didn't realize how hard this would be to type about... so that's all I am saying.

Why do I do this?

 Why do I go days, no weeks, no months! without typing on my blog?  Guess its because I have a life.

**Note that if I could possibly make time to fit this blog into my life more I WOULD! So no offense to those folks that manage to blog more often and I love reading your blogs when I get the chance to do so!

My gosh there has been so much going on, where to start!

1. My daughter turned 16. OMGOSH!!!!!!! I know that is unreal.  She had a birthday party with a big surprise



Then on the day she got her license, she had a small incident in a parking lot (someone hit my car door), the very same day she got them! She was also not where I thought she would be and had someone in the car with her that I was unaware of, so she hasn't driven since the day she got her license.... kids!  I love her much though!
Oh and because this was done in a parking lot there is no fault and I am responsible for my own car (which means $500 deductible). Even though my car wasn't running and the kiddos were in the car (but the person that wasn't suppose to be in the car was in the back with the door opened) when another drive parked next to them took off (forward) out of his parking lot and caught my back door that was opened.... it literally bent the door back..... $1200 in damages.

I came home to a rain of glass one day (happens to be the same week of my car damage).  I opened up my front glass door and it shattered all over me! (probably 300 bucks or more in damages) No one knows what happened!

I had a flat tire on my way to work (same week off all the above mishaps). ($350 bucks for two knew front tires (as I needed the other side too and front end alignment)

Needless to say there has been a lot of unusual activities lately and my bank account is still sobbing over the hurt I have caused it.

I miss skating, haven't been in a long time, haven't seen any of the Derby girls in a real long time and I was really enjoying that, but I haven't found the magic fountain of time yet, oh wait that is youth....  I need to find some time is what I am trying to say.

Speaking of the fountain of youth. Oh my cheese wiz, you would not believe the amount of gray hair I have now.  Thomas' said I look distinguished but I just feel old.   Something else I hadn't blogged about I had another birthday I am a year older.   ACK!  I am 35 year young lady who is need of a cheap box of coloring haha.  But, I am waiting to color my hair as my recent perm has damaged my hair enough I should not inflict more harm at this time else I might go bald(er).  I had my hair thoroughly cleansed, they use some chemical that is suppose to strip the hair of all the film from washing and stuff (I dunno what they call that really) but they did this before the perm, it stripped all the color I had on my hair right out!  Not only did I get a perm but I got a dull flat color that resembles my natural hair color, really weird I know... ohhhhhhhhh and while I am on the subject of Youth (that was the subject I was on right?).  I have a horrific crease, errr wrinkle.  Its between the eyes ya know, from scowling, frowning, squinting at the sun... I make this wrinkle occur daily basically ALL DAMN DAY so it is destined to get worse! I need a botox hook up and I am not that primpy, frilly type who go and "pamper" myself.  I need it so I don't look pissed all the time even when I am not!

Ok other things that have happened. OMG It has been so long since I posted here let me think...

I went to Nashville to LADY GAGA concert that Thomas got me tickets to for Christmas! Let me just say I love her!  It was an awesome trip!

This beautiful building to the left is the awesome place we stayed while being in Nashville and it was Gorgeous!

We went to see Trans Siberian Orchestra (TSO) here in HSV which got postponed due to a power outage, which how did I not mention the record breaking events that took place in my area, that is going to require a post of its on.  But, very kindly TSO rescheduled the event made a nice donation to The American Red Cross on the behalf of the people in the area and even though it was a very small crowd there they rocked the house!

I have booked not one, or two, but three camping trips coming up the next few weeks, so I again will busy outside of running a household, working full time, being a mom, a girlfriend, and a pet owner haha.  So, more to come but who knows when... sorry! I probably lost any or all of anyone that read this blog, but its my blog and next year when I look back to what was going on this year I will be able to recall all these good and bad things that has happened.

Friday, April 22, 2011

It's Friday!!!

Good Friday!

Earth Day!

Surely this will be an awesome day! :)

I have caught up on some much needed down time lately, been pretty lazy actually.  My house is an absolute mess, the yard isn't really a yard its more of a jungle.  My studying has not happened, my exercise is non existing.   Sooooo yeah, I am all caught up on down time.  Now its time to focus on the must do's and need to's to get things running smoothly again.

Tonight its work on the house and get things in order like buying washing powders, cleaning supplies and such that we have been out of.

Tomorrow is house cleaning/ yard work all damn day (its THAT BAD!).

Sunday is Kayaking.   Yep, no Easter eggs or crammed pack church.  I am the type of person that I don't regularly go to church so don't intend to go one day a year just to be seen at Church on Easter Sunday.... so my family and I will be out on the water kayaking, soaking up the sun and enjoy a nice quiet family day together. 

I am going to make myself of a goal to lose 10 lbs. Its a small goal but its a start.  I am going to be doing some form of exercise daily, and trying to not eat everything I friggin' see.... wish me luck!

I have a brand new kindle that Thomas got me for Christmas... yes Christmas.  I have loaded 15 or so books on it, and have not read a single one of them!!! Its time I do something about that.... I really need to be spending time relaxing with a book as it is one of my all time favorite things to do!

Studying... I still have dreams of moving into the IT field eventually but that will not ever happen if I do not study.... study.... study.  I haven't cracked open one of those books in I don't know when.  I should be ready to take tests already and I should have actually already had a couple of certificates.  I have spent hours studying to only spend months not reading it to probably lose what I had gained... ughhhh

Skating! I miss it! I have went to a few public sessions but its not the same knowing I have gave up that goal of being a Derby girl.  Well, not given up but put it on the back burner with so many other of my want to's.    I miss the girls and friends that I had made.  I still have something that belongs to them, I need to get with my girl Gina to give it to her.... ughhh I just thought about that, its so hard to remember things that I need to, like paying the utility bill!  I have the money and have had it, but forgot to pay it online like I usually try to do, and now its going to close to the cut off date to pay online I have to go by the place and I have forgot to this for 4-5 days now lol hopefully my brain doesn't fail me this weekend and I go buy there before they are actually cut off... How did I get on my bills here? lol I guess its just an example of how scattered my brain is and how I can't seem to focus on ANYTHING!!!!

On another note, we had fun at A-DAY game.... but I much rather go to an actual ball game!

Lady Gaga kicks ass! I don't care if you don't like her or think she is a dude, or just crazy as hell.... She is an awesome performer.  She has helped so many people feel confidence in themselves and who they are and she is truly talented! :) I totally loved her concert!

Now... time to get my ass busy!  Hope everyone has an awesome day!

Sunday, March 27, 2011

No freaking time!

I think I will soon have more time, but lately geesh!

I went off on a weekend camping trip with Thomas since I last posted here.  Which I had planned to make a big post w/ photos about the place we stayed (maybe I will post about it soon).

And, I also quit trying to be a bad ass with roller derby.  I have been very sad and torn over this decision.... my work kind of helped me out by telling me that I have to start being on call every other week for 7 days in a row.  I can't have the cell phone attached to my hip at practice three of the 7 days and no I am not happy about this one bit.  There is really no compensation for carrying the phone, only if I actually get a call... and seems I have no say in the matter.    Also I was going to be missing Dodge ball this Saturday (but it was rained out and will be next Saturday so maybe I can still make it!) for Destiny's All-state performance in B'ham.  Got to looking at things and noticing all the practices/events I would be missing. All the gas money (which is steadily going up) that I would be using to drive to HSV those 3 days plus events... and looking at my skill level.  I am pathetic right now (not that I don't see improvement in my future) but it is going to take me a while to get physically ready for derby.   I have opted to skate with my family one to two nights a week and get more comfortable on my skates and practice some of the basic skills in derby as to one day try boot camp again go from there. I do plan to still volunteer and support DDG any way that I can... and I have met some absolutely wonderful people through this organization that I hope to never lose contact with these amazing people.

My tailbone is still tender and sore at times, hopefully it continues to heal and I will be able to spend hours out on the kayak soon (but I guess it will have to be a time that I am not on call GRRRRR).

Well these are just a few things going on with me, things will improve but right now I am not in a very good mood about many things..... blah

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Heartbreaking

My heart is in aching for the people in Japan, this has truly been the most devastation my eyes have ever witnessed (through video and photos only thankfully).  I mean an earthquake to a Tsunami to a Nuclear meltdown... WOW!  The fear, the heartache, the confusion, the concern, the stress.....so many emotions, so many people affected.  Sending all my good vibes that way as they need them more than I do at this moment.  

Monday, March 7, 2011

At a turtles pace

I am racing through a hectic schedule at a slow pace, which doesn't seem right... but that is why I am about to freaking insane!

I have been so stressed lately that I thought this weekend would be a great time for a get-a-way.... One of those lets just do something sort of things. I booked us a room at Gold Strike in Tunica and Thomas and headed there on Saturday evening.  We didn't get out our way until close to 2 due to having to go the eye doctor for new glasses for Destiny and myself, then go home, straighten up, wash clothes, pack and shower lol before I knew it, it was already after 1 pm. ACK! Got in the car to realize its a 4 hour drive! WHAT I though maybe 3 but was leaning toward 2.5 hrs lol not 4!  Oh well live and learn it had been a long time since I had been.

We got there, got checked in and gambled all night! It was great. Neither of us lost our shirt in the entire evening, even though that might have been a site lol we didn't thankfully!

Got settled in the room to sleep at about 6 am and got up at 9 am to drive back home, man its a long drive! Didn't say that already?

Home to more laundry and a dog that acted as though we were gone for days.  I slept on and off all evening (bailed out on a practice/gathering that I really wanted to attend but I was sooooooooo tired, I would have either stared at ppl blankly or fell asleep there). 

Got up this morning for 4 am clinic, joy joy joy! Makes me want to say ugly nasty words this morning despite the fact that I have gotten plenty of sleep now.

I need to get to moving as fast as my time goes by, I might actually get more accomplished.  Tomorrow evening is a meeting for work from 530 to730 pm which will take over my entire evening... but Wed. is Derby practice. I am so ready to be back around my new friends! I miss them! Oh on the bottom, I have definetly re-injured something.  I have not skated Sunday the 27th and not sure when I will return to the rink, I am having reservations about pushing it because I am so tired of ass my hurting and not being able to sit comfortably or get in and out of the car without pain.  I am ready to put forth more effort toward my goals but the pain has got to get better.  Two of my freshmeat friends are now scrimmage eligible and I will miss them not being freshmeat any longer but I am super duper proud of them for reaching their goals so quickly... and a little envious as I feel farther from mine then when I first made the plan of joining.  Blah! Its depressing almost.

I had told myself one more blow to the ass and I would call it quits. I don't feel like quiting and I am not ready to do that yet, but I do feel like I need to the bottom heal! If I landed on it again while it is still this sore and tender I very well may not get up, or injure myself beyond natural repair, or give up on my goal all together.  So, I am not going to push it this time. 

Well, this week shall be long and busy... maybe I will make it to the end at my slow pace and finish ahead :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Getting better

Whew, I have not felt quiet like myself the past two days.  I am glad to be feeling human again. I went to work on Monday morning early clinic, worked 4.5 hrs and left for the day.... then called in today.  I rarely miss work, and this year alone have missed more work than I did all last year (if you don't count my week long vacation that is).  I don't know what it is, about me and getting the funky stuff lately.  On top of pmsing, my tummy wanted to give me fits.. ugh! I am feeling better though and ready to get back to work tomorrow.

My man is skating tonight without me.  I feel sad by this, but know he is having fun breaking in his new skates..... I am just not up to skating tonight.  

On another note: My pets are super awesome, my dog thinks he is a baby and my cat thinks she is a queen.  I ♥ Them both so much!  My kids have been doing better... there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

Monday, February 28, 2011

Improvement?

I was all about coming here and blogging my progress,  until.... well we will get to that later.

I went skating yesterday with the family at the public session.  Got there at 1pm, stood in line a while since everyone and their brother decided to have a birthday party and all were scheduled at 1pm and it took 20 minutes to get in the door.  Then, I proceeded to purchase some new laces to see if this would help me get my skates right.  I laced them bad boys up and to my total enjoyment had no issues!  I wasn't cutting my circulation off anywhere and they weren't too lose anywhere! GO ME!  So I proceeded to skate around the rink.  I did my personal best ever during a skate session and skated 100 laps.  That may not be alot of some but for me it was good.  I usually stop fifteen hundred times to fix something or rest a sore spot or something.  So I was proud of that session!

(Here are some photos from that session)
Destiny worked the clicker as she wasn't skating.....see 100 clicks! hehe
My new laces.
Thomas examining his new skates that he built
My baby girl :)
My baby boy :)


I then picked Christina up and headed to HSV for derby practice.  Got there early enough to get my gear on and skate around several times before practice began... I love having the time to do that warm up before the warm up, and the skates were right again! YAY! No discomfort, No sore muscles or bad spots... and I was feeling good.  Practice started with 180 turns which is fun, and hard at the same time... hard for me because if you use your hands then everyone has to do planks and my balance getting up in that position is not that good.... but I managed and felt like I was doing decent.  Then Bridgitte had us doing "suicides".... 20 times across the rink doing baseball slides/ crunches and then T-stops.  We took a breather and then did an obstacle course.  We took another break and then did 20 more "suicides" where we went across the ring doing all fours and leg lift, then plow stops, while my form may have not been perfect for any of those... I was doing it! The first practice that I was actually able to do everything, to some extend!  We did another exercise (it doesn't deserve a mention in this post because it SUCKED! lol it was a whole body work out and it wasn't fun! But, I am sure it was good for us).  We took a break, and went to watch the scrimmage.  All was well, I was feeling good.  Legs were doing good. No equipment issues or discomforts and this had to be my very first practice where all was well!!!  After our break we were going to begin taking/giving whips.  Fun right? I was thinking so, until the instant that my feet got tangled up with a teammate and I couldn't regain my balance and wound up..... straight on my ass again!  I swear I saw stars and tears appears in my eyes instantly.

As you may very well know, this is very disappointing to me.  It is now the day after.... I am sore as hell.  It hurts like day 1 from the broken bum getting in a sitting position, rising from that position, its miserable.  Its not the same spot!  Its a little higher up.  I broke the end of the tailbone 4.5 weeks ago, this spot is higher up toward my back but still my butt.  So I am hopeful maybe its not broke,  but there is a few positions I can get in and it literally takes my breath away with pain.  I have cried because I was hurt, made, frustrated, discouraged and now my feeling is more, "it is what it is". What can I do? So I went from the best day on skates to the worst.  The most embarrassing thing of it all is that I screamed out when I fell, I screamed and cried and made a big old scene, something I would rather have not done. UGHHH!! Oh well... "what's done is done". lol

On another note: I had an appt today that didn't go as well as I had hoped, and now I am sitting back at home and took the rest of the day off, because well I had to go in at 4 am and I didn't feel well.... then had to go to the meeting and still didn't feel well and now I sit in my chair (on my hip, not my ass) and still don't feel well.  One day at a time.... blah.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Just a post

A day or two or even three of nothingness, that's what I want! Where I can sleep as late as I want, wear my pjs as long as I want, read in my kindle, go outside and enjoy the weather, ride my bike, take some photos.... yes days that require no "have to's" or no "housework" or no "schedule". 

Instead I am managing a family of 4, cleaning, organizing, and disorganizing again.  I never get "caught up" anymore.  I am so super duper busy it feels.

I love derby and can't wait to be awesome as I am no where close to that awesomeness, I get discouraged.  All the time I have poured into skating, the bum is better, the mental block (errr Fear) seems to be improving and I honestly feel I can reach this goal.  But its still going to require a lot more time!  Time I don't have much of.  I think if I only went to practice 3 days a week I wouldn't feel the strain of lots and lots of skate time, but we go on Tues, Thurs and Sunday before practice most weeks as well... that is 3 more practice sessions, which has me skating right at 5-6 times a week.  Now the last 4 weeks haven't been very productive due the broken tail bone because well the fear out weighed anything and the discomfort kept the fear in check.  Now, I have new AWESOME skates, less discomfort from my injury, so there are no excuses! 

My legs were killing me in practice on Friday.  It wasn't fatigue, it wasn't that I had over done it as I never really started.  I love my new skates but they are taking me some time to get use to. I either get them too tight, or too loose and when I put my skates on, have no "skate alone, warm up time" as I make it at the rink right at  or a little after and jump right in to a team warm up session that has me skating faster than I am use to (as I am just now feeling more confident of getting some speed up since the bum is better)...... and skate in a tight circle, with my skates too loose, well that causes certain muscles to tense up.  Once that happens it is like an act of congress to get them loose!  I mean I stretch and stretch, and OMG at the burning, tight feeling I have in the lower legs from trying to push through and skate but not having the skates right.  Then I tighten the skates to only go out and practice 180 turns, and after about 5 of those my arches in my feet are tingling and one of my toes I can't hardly feel.... so I loosen the skates again.  Never at all in practice did I get the skates where they were comfortable!  Now at a skate session not a practice, I have time to work with the skates and once I get them where I like them I have been skating much better. I don't notice the burning in the lower legs, or any other discomfort like that annoying lil muscle that was bother me, but this is skating around the big rink in a regular skating session, its not the same as practice. 

Now, one lady at the rink stopped and asked If I liked my new skates and I said yes I love them once I get them adjusted the way I like them.  She said she was asking because she never could use the lower cut/speed type skates, she skates with the higher boot.  She was mentioning to me the burning, tingling sensations she would get in the lower leg with the lower cut boot..... so now am I all is it ankle support? Is it that I weigh 50 lbs more than I should have had ankle injuries? But truthfully once I get the gear right.... I do ok!  I mean if its not the shoes its the darn knee pads are pulled to tight, or too loose.  lol I feel like I am trying to make excuses when in all fairness, I am not meaning to! I am soon to be 35.  I see ladies out there older than me, I see ladies out there heavier than me.... so if they can do it I can do it!!!!!!!!! I would say its great exercises but the way I stop and go and stop and go I am not really getting much of a work out.  I get more exercise out of the non skate time honestly. 

Thomas is loving the skating we have done together, so I will continue to skate with him outside of the derby. So there should be tons of time for me to continue to improve....  He just built his own skates, with some really expensive components lol. His skates are probably 1000 dollar skates.  He is trying to learn how to do jam skating and enjoying the time out on the rink. 

I feel like I am the worst, slowest skater at practice, and even at the rink sessions.  I am out of shape, learning to skate from the very beginning (as not ever skating as a child/teenager) and never really have found confidence on my skates.    There was a brief moment about 2 times before the first day of boot camp that I was feeling less fear and trying new things and the confidence was there.... then I broke my ass and not only is it back to square one with the confidence but now the fear has taken a much larger roll.  The more time I spend on them (without a broken bum) the more confidence I should find.... once confident other tasks like jumps, and really all the skills I need to have to play derby should be more easily reached.  So now that I am 85-90% better from my injury and so close to being normal again I am not backing down from this agenda.

I am so far from doing jumps though... I know I should just face the fear and do it! Whats the worst that could happen? I fall on my ass? I hated not even attempting them in practice with a teammate of mine did so after just taking a bad fall and fell again.... so then now I am like all wimpy as I won't even attempt it.  Geez it makes me so mad at myself. 

The more pissed at myself I get the more determination I feel.  I know I would have progressed a little more had I not had the injury and I know how bad it has been recovering from it more than anyone else because its my ass lol.  I haven't wimped out here.  I have stuck with it despite the facts that keep wanting me to stop.... I keep showing up and I keep putting on the skates.  So I have accomplished that much.  Now its time to reach those goals..... I keep meaning to practice by doing wall sits and wearing ankle weights and performing exercises to build up both my upper and lower legs as they are the main muscles I will use, but I honestly haven't put enough time in on this because its so damn hard to find time for anything anymore!!!!!!!!  But, that is another excuse, that I don't have to make for myself.... I will simply have to find that time.  Building up those muscles, strengthening my core, and spending time on the skates will make me an awesome skater.  It just isn't going to happen over night, or not for me anyway!

Well time to get busy and get ready to go skate.