Wow, what a freaking crazy ass morning. Yes, this morning was the kiddos first day back to school. Destiny a Sophomore in High School and Desmond a 6th Grader in Middle school, this day should be less stressful as they have been doing this for many years and are practically pros at it.
Well, yesterday we decided to go on a family day trip to Little Canyon River and see the scenery that mother nature offers us and spend the day together. We had nice meals out and saw breath taking beauty.
Unfortunately, I had not bought school supplies and by the time we stopped for supplies and drove home it was 10 pm before we got home. I managed to go through and label all the supplies, do all the forms for school, get their checks made out and all items sorted, but it was late. The kids were in bed by 11 pm regardless, and I know its a late night for the first day of school but we were trying to end their summer with a bang so to speak.
I say several times, make sure you have your clothes you want to wear and everything together last night.
This morning, I get the kids up, they are getting ready... by the time I get moving and decide that I HAVE to get ready they are both still in the process of getting ready (45 minutes later). Destiny is making good time as she has fixed her hair and make up already she only has to get dressed, she was dressed and sitting in the living room ready to go by the time I said to be ready (Kudos for her!!!! :) )
Desmond on the other hand, has old raggy looking shorts on, a shirt from last school year that is all faded out and is trying to wear his old sneakers that even have the sole coming undone at the toe. I look at him and immediately try to bite my tongue, but no matter how hard I try I just can't help myself. I start bitching, "what are you wearing? Where are your new shoes? you new clothes?" He proceeds with "I don't want to wear the new clothes these are fine", I say "You look like a hobo" which is one of my favorite things to say to him because he has always dressed like such a slouch. The child has nice clothes that I spend good money on, but he wears old faded out clothes. Well, I proceeded with my fit I was pitching " You are NOT wearing those shoes, and you will absolutely change shirts". He does change shirts but refuses to wear his new shoes (HE PICKED THE SHOES OUT BTW) and doesn't want to wear them. The shirt he changes to is still not new, but nicer and not as faded as the one he had on. The shoes are more than likely too small because they are old and his foot has definitely grew this year....so I asked "Do those shoes even fit you?" and he decides to raise his voice "YES MOM! THEY DO!". Well if the battle of clothes wasn't enough, I realize he is scrambling to work on school work that he had told me was done. I had found out yesterday that he never read one of his books that was purchased the beginning of summer that he was suppose to read as an assignment for Honors Language, and not only that but he hadn't done his Summer work for Math either. That being said, he is not going to make it long this school year without some major changes.
I know he is growing up, and because he is my baby maybe I babied him too much, but if someone was going to make fun of me (be it my size, my clothes or anything) I would rather be wearing nice clothes than old raggedy ones.
Well we get in the car and he said I can get this done in five minutes (talking about his summer assignment that I thought was finished a month ago). I said "I am not waiting 5 minutes, you face the consequences it wasn't my assignment and Destiny and I wont suffer being late even five minutes for you because you were too lazy to get your responsibilities done for the summer". He announces " I wish I could just live with my daddy, I just want to pack my bags up and move and never come back here! ". I said "Fine, we will pack your bags up and see how well your daddy does with your laziness, OHHHHHHHH wait he wont care if you ever amount to anything because he will be too busy being your friend to tell you your teeth are nasty and you need to brush them, or to make sure you don't wear worn out clothes on your first day to middle school, or to make sure you have any responsibilities like cleaning up after a pet or cleaning your bedroom or heaven forbid doing your homework!" (big breath) "Do you really think you will ever grow up living with him? or will you be 36 years old and still living at home with your mother and not supporting your only child?"
"Ok, maybe I was way over the top with him, and what a fucking horrible way to start your first day of school, but its hard on me when I work so hard to buy nice clothes, and ask numerous times "have you read your book?", "Are your summer assignments completed?" and I constantly have to ask "Did you brush your teeth?" (Which is uberly ridiculous because he is 11 years and has had 11 years of practice to remember to do this twice or more times a day, but yes, I have to ask because you will be amazed at how many times he says "OOps I forgot". It has broken my heart this morning that I can't be that super duper parent that wears the apron and talks all sweet to her children all the time, instead I am the evil bitch that no one really wants to be around. But, I can't talk nice when a child as old as him spent his whole summer doing whatever he wanted and never took care of his responsibilities. What a way to start the school year off.
I did say when he got out of the car "I am sorry your first day of school has started off so bad, I know you are excited and nervous about it and you will do just fine, just be yourself and remember I do love you, we just have to work on some things and you have a lot of growing up to do because you are in big boy school now." He just did his head down at me, and I said "I hope you have a good rest of the day and good luck, I LOVE YOU" he said "I love you too, thank you".
I remember a few morning I was all on Destiny, its always one or the other, we hardly ever have a peaceful morning around my house. But we are always on time and in one piece thankfully we don't kill each other. I know he needed more sleep last night, I know I should have actually asked him to show me the assignment he was suppose to do over the summer and maybe quizzed him on the books before the day before school started, but he was asked about them both several times over the course of the summer. He even took the items to his Dad's for the month he spent there and still didn't do anything so you know what HIS DADDY IS TO BLAME TOO!
I will get order back in the house, routines back in place, and go through his clothes and get rid of all the items I don't want him to wearing to school so he wont have them to choose from! lol That is how I roll. I have slacked and should have already done these things.
I love my children very much, I am very proud of them. I am working on our relationship as they have changed and grew up on me, and I have to get to know the new people they are. I miss my relationship with them, and hope to improve things in a whole with the family.