I am so getting my groove back on....I knew it was just a lull in life the past month or so. It feels damn good to be feeling like myself again.
My mood has improved, I am much more chipper and optimistic.
My kids are still my kids, even though I may not be the best parent and they may not be the best children, they are mine and I love the hell out of them. I set new house rules (for the 6th or 20th time lol) and plan on making my life easier in the process of these new rules, I just have to stick to them!!
I love my man, he has his flaws as I have mine and no one is perfect but I am madly deeply and passionately in love with him! He puts up with my crazy shenanigans all the time, up one moment and down the next, screaming happily one moment and in tears the next, the roller coaster that is my life, and he loves me despite my craziness. That is hard to find in someone.... the ones that love you when you look your worst, and heaven forbid even act your worst. He loves me and I know this, and I love him, and though life is full of limes we make really good margaritas with them (haha changed lemons and lemonade, so silly am I).
Life is good. My job is crazy... I enjoy it. I have been working by myself for over a month now and its kinda nice. When they hire someone in to help out I wont know what to do with myself.
I am so looking forward to our trip in December, I hope to purchase the plane tickets this weekend and get that under way.
The next thing after the plane tickets purchasing is to get Desmond's room done up for his birthday, and I would really love to take him to see the braves play a game on the weekend of his birthday.... I may try to make that all happen but who knows if I can pull it off.
Then, there will Halloween, Alabama football, Thomas' birthday all in the next few months.
Whew... I get tired just thinking about it.
Next thing on my agenda is simply planning myself better. No one wants to live on a schedule all the time but I am thinking I need to make myself one. One that includes stupid little things like plucking my damn eye brows, honestly they look horrible and I have noticed it several morning when I am in a hurry to go but never think about it when I may have time to do it. I really need a plan in life, not for future so much as for the present. I can sit down sometimes straight from work and never get out of my chair lol watching the tube sometimes its something I enjoy and other times its just noise and me dozing off and on the entire time when I could be accomplishing something else. SOOOOOOOOOOOO
I want to make a schedule for myself. I have to do my chores when I get home from work, then take the dog for a walk in the morning or at night or both, then make time to schedule a meal plan and buy groceries for the family, time for reading some books that I might be interested in and time for studying for A+ test. Time to shave my legs, do my nails, pluck my eyebrows. I could easily do all those things on a regular bases and still have time to spend with my man cuddled up in the chair together watching a movie or some of our favorite shows together. I have tried to be a movie buff... even started a review blog on all the movies we watch, that lapsed because there isn't enough time and my heart is just not in it. I enjoy watching tv and movies but that needs to be pushed down further on my list. Thomas doesn't mind if I do anything I want to do, the kids do things much more on their own and I actually have time of my own now. Honestly I have had this time of my own for years but never made much use of it, because I wasn't use to having it and now that I do its almost wasted away.
I gripe about the house work but the truth is I don't do what I need to do to keep it up, if only I would devote an hour a day and a couple on the weekends the house would always be just like I want it.... after me staying on some people about some clutter that is lol. I came home yesterday and never touched the laundry which I had planned on, never straightened up the bedroom which I worked so hard to clean and I had planned to straighten it up again, never did a lot of the things I planned because I sat down and got lazy. It was my early night so I went to bed early and lost some time there, but I was falling asleep watching tv before I even went to bed. I might not have fallen asleep had I done some chores and those chores wouldn't be on my mind today, they would be history. Blah. This is why I need a schedule.
I am going to make me one and try really hard to stick with it.
Anyway, I am still working on me as I will most likely always be a work in progress, but I feel better. I have even lost a few pounds which makes me happy. I have just over 100 days until my trip so I really need to buckle down on that goal too as I am such a major slacker these days. I am considering throwing away Thomas' chair as it is falling apart anyway and letting him have mine to free up space in the living room and get my fat ass out of the chair every day. I can keep my computer in the bedroom, and setup an area there to work on menus for the week, studying for my A+, get the kindle out and photo books and just spend x amount of hours in there each week working on what things I have been wanting to do. This might give Thomas some breathing room, or he may decide he wants to work on something he has been wanting to do, he wants to fix the stang and talks about working on the old jeep to make it a rock crawler, he always has projects and miscellaneous things he does. He gets much more accomplished than I do most times, but I am going to work on this! Yes, as I typed this I have a great idea, I think moving myself to the bedroom, and getting rid of my chair in the living room may be a great move. I can always sit with Thomas when we watch tv or a flick, and that gives us cuddling time.
See problem solving even typing on my blog... I swear my mind is always jumping around and it will be so nice to have time allotted for my brain to work and focus on one thing at a time. :)
Life is good, no its grand! I am a very blessed woman.