Wednesday, November 4, 2009

What a fagoobie

No other words for myself lately... fagoobie fits well. I don't know what has got into me. But, I wish it would get the hell out. I own this place, and if it plans on staying it should at least pay rent. GEESH.

I feel a little better, all of the sudden. I was petting my kitty and she was puring so sweet without a care in this whole world and that is when I realized I want to be a cat. Something about that recognition has me feeling a bit more chipper. Well since I was not chipper to begin with, I guess I should say it has me feeling simply better.

I hate feeling like I have. I can't seem to shake it. I know other people have issues like this, but I am about ready to make an appt with a doctor. I feel like I have no control of my own emotions. Life is pretty much suckin' lately, but I still have more than enough to feel blessed and loved but for some reason I feel people would be better off without me around. I feel like I am good for nothing. Now, I have no suicidal thoughts and would never harm myself. I just hate this feeling of worthlessness. I am the only one who can fix me, but there are so many areas to fix. My body, my health, my foot, my job, my house.... dude that is just a start! Now, I know people are faced with more than I have on my plate everyday and do it with smiles on their faces and tonight I say GOOD FOR THEM! I am having a pitty party and can't seem to quit all this celebration. BUT enough is enough.

My thoughts are with my co-worker Haley and her family this evening to... they received really bad news today.

Tomorrow WILL be a better day.


  1. Wow - I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I hope you feel better soon! I think good things are around just around the corner :-)

  2. Thanks,its getting better... just a bad day ya know! :)