Wednesday, November 11, 2009

That is NOT me!

ughhhhhhhhhh so unmotivated lately with the ankle injury and stress from work/life I have totally neglected myself AGAIN!!!!!

Not to mention neglecting my family and the ones I loves so much.

What am I doing about it? FIXING IT!!!

Today at work, my food was not so good. My dinner lol McDonald's (even more not so good) and still very unmotivated. Until I sat down this evening finally at 9 pm for the first time exhausted and feeling as though my trip to the grocery store about killed me! I said I remember a time where I could manage the home/family/work/myself and everything with much less effort than to have to MAKE myself do anything. That time was back when I was fit, and active. Now I rush and rush to try to half ass finish a task to be able to hurry up and sit and be lazy. Why? What is so exciting about about that? I use to be so busy with activities that I enjoyed there was no time to sit and enjoy anything, I was too busy enjoying the activities.... that was fun and what I enjoyed at those times. Now I procrastinate doing anything. I don't necessarily want to get involved with anything because it will take away from my relaxation time. I use to try to make it to book club (which I thoroughly enjoyed) but started making excuses not to drive to Huntsville after working all day and then get home late, and miss out on my relaxing time. However I miss my friends, and I miss doing those activities. I use to enjoy line dancing, I have enjoyed dulcimer group, we use to go out dancing (which is awesome exercise), we use to get out and go shoot pool every week...... there are so many things that we have done to stay active and involved in things, but lately I have got old and lazy.

After this long thought (all of 20-30 minutes) I took of the old ankle boot, popped in Walk away the pounds and did the 1 mile! No pain. The ankle is weak, I am not ready to go out and about on a walk yet, but the standing in place no obstacle safety of my home, the walk was good. I feel there could be more of this in the near future and looking forward to more progress! My goal is when the ankle has healed and I feel comfortable with it, I will try the C25K program, which was my intention moments before my injury. I want this weight off. I want to get healthy and feel good about me again.

I have had some major accomplishments in my lifetime already such as raising two children without the aid of their father, getting an education with two children, buying my first home, quiting smoking (after 14 years) 4 years ago........ those are just to name a few major accomplishments. There is no, ABSOLUTELY NO reason why I can not accomplish this. I have bitched, fussed and moaned about this for far too long. People around me probably feel I will NEVER do this, because maybe I am all talk. UGHHHHH I don't want to be her... not that person that keeps on bitching and complaining but don't get off her ass to do something about it. No that is not me! Time to get busy!

Some say oh lets wait til the new year and we can start fresh then, its hard to lose over the holidays. I say, there is no time like the present, Tonya get up and do it!

I plan on using the photos that Tbone and I took over the last weekend as a reference. I feel like a cow in those picture. I am sitting down in some poses looking at the fat rolls thinking that is so not me! Those will be my BEFORE photos and hopefully by Spring will take some AFTER pictures. If I lost two pounds per week between now and April 12th I would be at my goal weight. My birthday is in May, so before I turn another year older I could weight my ideal goal weight. Would that not be freaking awesome? I can do this. Its just a bit of work and a lot of determination. Its saying no when you really would love to say yes. Its stopping before feeling full and staying satisfied instead of stuffed. Its learning when to say when, and most importantly its getting off my ass and moving!!!!!


If you can't tell I feel good and hyper and ready to move mountains right now, lol lets just hope this is present in the morning!

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